Slut - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 38
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“Thanks, Mi. I’ll talk to you later.”
Mi waved to the girls, telling them she had to go bring a new baby into the world, and she would see them later. I watched her leave and sighed a heavy breath, got up, and cleaned up our trash. If I started now, I could get the girls out of there by two. Twenty minutes or so. Luckily we had one more stop, per their request. That would help.
Rowan of course did better than Ophelia. She slid into her sneakers and stood beside me, while I bribed Phi. “We’re not going to have time to stop at the bookstore if you don’t come on,” I coaxed.
Rowan helped with that one. She’d been waiting for the new Scoop book to come out ever since we read the first one. Like six weeks now. “Come on, Phi. Don’t you want to read Scoop?”
I personally wanted to read Scoop. Sarah and Scoop were a team, working together to help animals find a good family. Scoop was a talking dog, but the story line was cute, and it taught many worthy morals. Each book focused on a new kitten or a new dog. The next one was called one last kitten, a misfit left behind. That worked to get them out of there, but somehow I got suckered into two books each by the time we made it to the bookstore.
Rowan made sure I held onto her copy of Scoop while she and Phi sat at a little table reading big picture books. Never mind the whole stack, she didn’t want them to sell out before we left. I unconsciously browsed the boy’s section, choosing a yellow tractor with a big bucket full of dirt. I smiled and tucked it under my arm, giddy inside at the thought of reading it to him.
“Hi, how are you?”
I turned to the familiar voice with a frown and no words.
“Scoop,” Lane said with his copy in the air. “Chance has called me three times already.”
I still couldn’t talk. My mind filled with visions of what I’d learned, and words from Mi. He didn’t have to participate. “Why did you want Nick to keep going? To keep hypnotizing me? You weren’t trying to help me, were you? It was for your benefit. Wasn’t it, Lane?”
Lane’s face dropped, his smile disappeared, and his tan flesh turned white. “What are you talking about?”
“I know. I watched it. I know what you did to me. The first time I ever met you. I know it all,” I said without even thinking about it. I had to, and I had a right to.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Gabby,” he said one more time, a failed attempt for me to believe another lie.
“Why can’t you just tell me, Lane?”
“Gabby, I helped you. I’m not the bad guy here. I did everything I could to help you, don’t you dare say this was all for me. It wasn’t.”
“Why, Lane? Why did you want to help me?”
Lane took a deep breath and sat in one of the little wooden chairs below a window, knees to his chest. “You came to me. I never came to you.”
I sat beside him and probed for him to continue. “For what?”
“Where’s Chance,” Ophelia asked from across the room.
I placed a finger over my lips, reminding her to use her quiet voice. She whispered it next.
Lane quietly told her she was getting her hair done with her mom.
“It was the only time you had ever talked to me about what happened that night. I’m so sorry, Gabby. I know I said that a million times before your accident, but I mean it. I was drunk, young, dumb, I’m sorry.”
“Why did I come to you, Lane?”
“We were all at your house. I used to watch you guys,” Lane said in a faraway tone.
“What do you mean? You watched us? That’s a little creepy.”
“I’m a psychiatrist. I watch how people interact everywhere I go. I was fascinated at how happy you both looked, yet I knew it wasn’t real. He could look at you from across the yard and then to his feet, and you would go to him.”
“Okay, so?”
“Yeah, we were all over at your house. The girls were floating around the pool with drinks except you. You were by his side. I had just told the guys a story about our new guy, Nick, about how I had been watching him erase memories from trauma victims. You heard all the stories I shared about how amazing he was. You came to me because you wanted what happened to you erased. You told me that you couldn’t enjoy sex with your husband because of the rape. I didn’t mean to keep digging, Gabby. It just happened,” he explained. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you’d just gone through that. I’m sorry. I wish I could go back and unlearn it all.”
I ignored the apology, coaxing him to continue. “And then what?”
Lane shrugged his shoulders and exhaled. “After I heard how you described the rape, and then what Paxton and I did to you, I wanted to know more. It was like black and white. You were sad and hurt when you talked about the gang, yet three days later, you were numb. I just thought you were drunk, too. Not numb from a gang rape. I got carried away with your story, with your relationship with Paxton.”
Suddenly, I was mad. I felt violated. “I trusted you.”
Lane set his book to the chair between us and rubbed his face. “I know. I’m sorry. Nobody wishes more for a redo than me. That’s what I would use it on.”
“Why?”
“That’s when I started coaching you on leaving him. That’s when Nick and I started helping you plan your new identity. All of that was going to be gone, you were supposed to take the girls and live happily ever after, Gabby. Not this.”
I looked past him to the girls with a deep breath. “Why can’t you just answer the question? What did you learn?”
“You didn’t watch all the videos?”
“No, only one. I gotta psyche myself up to go through that again. Who knows what’s in the next one, right?”
“Gabby, stop. Just stop with all this. I swear I’m not lying for my own protection. It’s for yours and your family. How did you get those videos?”
“What do you mean my protection?”
“It’s not a threat, Gabby. It’s a warning.”
I didn’t even bother getting that explanation. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. “You think he’s abusive? You wanted me to get away from him because of that, or something else, Lane?” I questioned. There was still something hiding in his mind, but what? Why?
“You deserve better, Gabby. The girls deserve better.”
“Paxton is great with our girls,” I defensively protested. Why I felt the need to protect the bastard was beyond me, but it was the truth. He was an amazing father.
Lane stood with that, and shook his head. “Of course he is. I’m sorry for being a part of that. I’m sorry I did that to you, for everything that I’ve done to you.”
“Lane.” I said while holding up his copy of Scoop, stopping him in his tracks. “He doesn’t hit me,” I said for whatever reason. I guess I didn’t want Lane to think badly of him.
“I know everything he does, Gabby.”
I kept it subtle when I spoke, pointing out the facts. “Because you illegally found out.”
“Goodbye, Gabby. I hope you find the happiness that you’ve been searching for. You really do deserve it.”
Lane took his book and walked away. Out of my life, again. I shook my own head, back and forth at the craziness, and then gathered my troops. I had a casserole to bake and a fake life to live, no time for sulking in silence.
“Come on girls, we have to get going.”
“Can I have this book, too? I like it,” Rowan questioned.
“I said two. If you get that one, you have to put one of these back.”
“Um, I’ll get it next time,” she decided. I knew she would. She was very focused on what two books she wanted before we ever walked through the door.
The girls and I were singing Ariana Grande through loud screams when Mi’s call took over the speakers.
“Hi, that was a fast delivery,” I said through the Bluetooth.
“You told Lane! You told Lane?” she repeated again in a loud tone, not really, but loud for Mi. She was definitely excited.
I took her off of Bluetooth and held the phone to my ear. “Oh my, God, Mi. I didn’t even think about you. I’m so sorry. He was just there and so many things were on my mind. They just came out. I’m so sorry,” I apologized again. Stupid, stupid, drama. Every time I turned around, there was more. Something else.
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