Breaking Dawn - Meyer Stephenie - Страница 12
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I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but I couldn’t force it down.
Jacob looked at me and frowned. He wiped his fingers across my cheek, catching the tears there.
“You’re not supposed to be the one crying, Bella.”
“Everyone cries at weddings,” I said thickly.
“This is what you want, right?”
“Right.”
“Then smile.”
I tried. He laughed at my grimace.
“I’m going to try to remember you like this. Pretend that . . .”
“That what? That I died?”
He clenched his teeth. He was struggling with himself—with his decision to make his presence here a gift and not a judgment. I could guess what he wanted to say.
“No,” he finally answered. “But I’ll see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Heartbeat. Two left feet. All of that.”
I deliberately stomped on his foot as hard as I could.
He smiled. “That’s my girl.”
He started to say something else and then snapped his mouth closed. Struggling again, teeth gritted against the words he didn’t want to say.
My relationship with Jacob used to be so easy. Natural as breathing. But since Edward had come back into my life, it was a constant strain. Because—in Jacob’s eyes—by choosing Edward, I was choosing a fate that was worse than death, or at least equivalent to it.
“What is it, Jake? Just tell me. You can tell me anything.”
“I—I… I don’t have anything to tell you.”
“Oh please. Spit it out.”
“It’s true. It’s not… it’s—it’s a question. It’s something I want you to tell me.”
“Ask me.”
He struggled for another minute and then exhaled. “I shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter. I’m just morbidly curious.”
Because I knew him so well, I understood.
“It’s not tonight, Jacob,” I whispered.
Jacob was even more obsessed with my humanity than Edward. He treasured every one of my heartbeats, knowing that they were numbered.
“Oh,” he said, trying to smother his relief. “Oh.”
A new song started playing, but he didn’t notice the change this time.
“When?” he whispered.
“I don’t know for sure. A week or two, maybe.”
His voice changed, took on a defensive, mocking edge. “What’s the holdup?”
“I just didn’t want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain.”
“You’d rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha ha.”
“Very funny.”
“Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I don’t see the point. You can’t have a real honeymoon with your vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isn’t the first time you’ve put this off. That’s a good thing, though,” he said, suddenly earnest. “Don’t be embarrassed about it.”
“I’m not putting anything off,” I snapped. “And yes I can have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I want! Butt out!”
He stopped our slow circling abruptly. For a moment, I wondered if he’d finally noticed the music change, and I scrambled in my head for a way to patch up our little tiff before he said goodbye to me. We shouldn’t part on this note.
And then his eyes bulged wide with a strange kind of confused horror.
“What?” he gasped. “What did you say?”
“About what… ? Jake? What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean? Have a real honeymoon? While you’re still human? Are you kidding? That’s a sick joke, Bella!”
I glared at him. “I said butt out, Jake. This is so not your business. I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t even be talking about this. It’s private—”
His enormous hands gripped the tops of my arms, wrapping all the way around, fingers overlapping.
“Ow, Jake! Let go!”
He shook me.
“Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can’t be that stupid! Tell me you’re joking!”
He shook me again. His hands, tight as tourniquets, were quivering, sending vibrations deep into my bones.
“Jake—stop!”
The darkness was suddenly very crowded.
“Take your hands off her!” Edward’s voice was cold as ice, sharp as razors.
Behind Jacob, there was a low snarl from the black night, and then another, overlapping the first.
“Jake, bro, back away,” I heard Seth Clearwater urge. “You’re losing it.”
Jacob seemed frozen as he was, his horrified eyes wide and staring.
“You’ll hurt her,” Seth whispered. “Let her go.”
“Now!” Edward snarled.
Jacob’s hands dropped to his sides, and the sudden gush of blood through my waiting veins was almost painful. Before I could register more than that, cold hands replaced the hot ones, and the air was suddenly whooshing past me.
I blinked, and I was on my feet a half dozen feet away from where I’d been standing. Edward was tensed in front of me. There were two enormous wolves braced between him and Jacob, but they did not seem aggressive to me. More like they were trying to prevent the fight.
And Seth—gangly, fifteen-year-old Seth—had his long arms around Jacob’s shaking body, and he was tugging him away. If Jacob phased with Seth so close…
“C’mon, Jake. Let’s go.”
“I’ll kill you,” Jacob said, his voice so choked with rage that it was low as a whisper. His eyes, focused on Edward, burned with fury. “I’ll kill you myself! I’ll do it now!” He shuddered convulsively.
The biggest wolf, the black one, growled sharply.
“Seth, get out of the way,” Edward hissed.
Seth tugged on Jacob again. Jacob was so bewildered with rage that Seth was able to yank him a few feet farther back. “Don’t do it, Jake. Walk away. C’mon.”
Sam—the bigger wolf, the black one—joined Seth then. He put his massive head against Jacob’s chest and shoved.
The three of them—Seth towing, Jake trembling, Sam pushing—disappeared swiftly into the darkness.
The other wolf stared after them. I wasn’t sure, in the weak light, about the color of his fur—chocolate brown, maybe? Was it Quil, then?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the wolf.
“It’s all right now, Bella,” Edward murmured.
The wolf looked at Edward. His gaze was not friendly. Edward gave him one cold nod. The wolf huffed and then turned to follow the others, vanishing as they had.
“All right,” Edward said to himself, and then he looked at me. “Let’s get back.”
“But Jake—”
“Sam has him in hand. He’s gone.”
“Edward, I’m so sorry. I was stupid—”
“You did nothing wrong—”
“I have such a big mouth! Why would I… I shouldn’t have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?”
“Don’t worry.” He touched my face. “We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence.”
I shook my head, trying to reorient myself. Before someone noticed? Had anyone missed that?
Then, as I thought about it, I realized the confrontation that had seemed so catastrophic to me had, in reality, been very quiet and short here in the shadows.
“Give me two seconds,” I pleaded.
My insides were chaotic with panic and grief, but that didn’t matter—only the outside mattered right now. Putting on a good show was something I knew I had to master.
“My dress?”
“You look fine. Not a hair out of place.”
I took two deep breaths. “Okay. Let’s go.”
He put his arms around me and led me back to the light. When we passed under the twinkle lights, he spun me gently onto the dance floor. We melted in with the other dancers as if our dance had never been interrupted.
I glanced around at the guests, but no one seemed shocked or frightened. Only the very palest faces there showed any signs of stress, and they hid it well. Jasper and Emmett were on the edge of the floor, close together, and I guessed that they had been nearby during the confrontation.
“Are you—”
“I’m fine,” I promised. “I can’t believe I did that. What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing is wrong with you.”
I’d been so glad to see Jacob here. I knew the sacrifice it had taken him. And then I’d ruined it, turned his gift into a disaster. I should be quarantined.
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