Because of The Brave - lanyon Josh - Страница 6
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Panic, a good panic for a change, twisted his gut and Carson rushed to change the subject. “When's your enlistment up?”
“A few months. I was going to go for indefinite status but after this—”
“Getting hurt?” Silence again. “Was it serious?”
“One of the worse times of my life. But I'm healing. Every soldier knows the risks. It's not the first time for me to take a hit.” He sighed.
Carson tracked the rise and heavy fall of China's shoulders by stepping in closer. The sound of his breathing was ragged, his voice sad, almost like he was in pain.
“This time was…different. So much was lost.”
He shook his head once and glanced at Carson, an unspoken question in his eyes, one Carson couldn't even begin to guess at.
“I've been thinking it's time for a change.”
“Really? What would you do?” The sidewalk was framed by large old tress ands the sounds of the traffic disappeared as they turned a corner. An old iron fence marked the park-like area to their left. The houses were left behind on the main street, but China never questioned their direction or asked about their destination.
“Couple of things. Got a degree in business management. A little nest egg put away. I should put it to good use. Maybe do private security. Something with rules and order. I like order. Combine the two things I'm trained for.”
“You can take the guy out of the military but you can't take the military out of the guy!” Carson chuckled and clapped his hands to chase away the growing numbness in his fingers. The temperature must dropped ten degrees since they had left the church.
“I hate rules and routines, but I'd love to have my own software business. I want to expand my development skills past the walls they make me work with now. I use my free time to create security firewalls and then spend hours breeching them for the fun of it.”
“That's what you call fun? You need to get out more.”
“Hey, your idea of fun is getting shot at. Guess we're complete opposites.”
“Not really. We're like the first great Chinese inventions.”
“What?” China lost him there. Who knew what the Chinese invented if they weren't Chinese?
“Seriously. The Chinese had four great inventions. Gunpowder, the compass, paper and printing. I think maybe the last two fit me just like the last two fit you. Action and power paired with knowledge and innovation. They fit together. Like us.”
Okay. So maybe you knew about this stuff if your nickname was China. Or you needed an original pick up line. Sweet talk and muscle. Who would have guessed?
Carson liked it.
“We're there.”
Carson strode through the open gates of the cemetery without looking back, his back ramrod straight and his head held high. China could read determination and pain in the too-rapid pace the younger man suddenly adopted.
The gates were ten foot high spiked wrought-iron blotted into massive cement pillars topped with grotesque stone gargoyles. The falling snow blanketed the ground, turning the tallest headstones China could see into white shrouded ghosts in the fading light.
He stopped to assess the area closer, his years of training taking over, honed instincts telling him this was just another jungle filled with land mines, but this time of the emotional variety. He'd rather have bombs and bullets coming at him, but he'd come this far, he had to see it through. If not for his own sake then for others.
Beside, Carson was growing on him something fierce. The young man was funny, smart and feisty as hell. Toss in those marbled green eyes, almost platinum blond hair and that firm little body and China couldn't resist flirting with him. He knew he shouldn't…but, hell, dangerous little treasures like Carson didn't cross a man's path everyday.
“Christ Almighty!” China ran a hand over his eyes to wipe away the image of Carson laughing, hair in his eyes, smile on his lips and nothing hiding his pale smooth skin as he lay on crisp sheets beckoning for China to join him.
“China! Are you coming?”
China snapped around at the sound of Carson's voice. He located a shadowy figure a hundred yards away, one arm gesturing toward him, beckoning him like in his dream. He swore softly and muttered, “Not yet, but there's always hope.”
Striding up the pathway, his boots crunching down through layers of thin ice and slushy snow, China waved back. “Hold up. I'll lose you in the dark.”
“I doubt that.” But Carson stayed where he was, waiting patiently until China was at his side. “Guys like you don't get lost.”
“Maybe I just think you could use a friend. A guy shouldn't be alone for this. Not today.” The wind bit through his multiple layers of clothing. China suppressed a shiver, noticing that Carson's teeth had begun to chatter slightly.
“How do you know I'm alone?” Carson turned to his right to march down a row of low headstones. He walked with a sure step that told China he'd done this a hundred times before, barely glancing at the stones, secure in his destination. China kept pace at his side.
“Carson, come on. You're spending Thanksgiving at a church shelter feeding the homeless, avoiding a stalker ex, we're going to visit your family so you take me to a cemetery. I'm not a rocket scientist, but I can figure this out.”
“Okay, maybe that was a dumb question. You're right anyway. Jim was my only relative and now he's gone, too.”
He stopped in from a small grouping of markers protected from the wind by a thick hedge row. Three of the graves were long established, all three showing the same final resting date. Carson stood in front of a grave that still hadn't settle completely, its surface slightly rounded and the grass sparse under a thin layer of snow. China knew it belonged to Carson's brother but he avoided reading this headstone. There was time for that. Carson was his concern at the moment.
“These are my parents. They were killed by a drunk driver when I was fifteen. My sister Amy was in the car, too. She was seventeen.” Now China understood the 'I don't drink' comment Carson had made earlier. A drunk wiping out most of his family must have made a big impact on a fifteen-year-old's ideas about life.
“Jim was twenty-two. He finished college and joined the army so he could take care of me. He was always there for me, even when he was away. He'd make sure I had one of the other families to stay with when he out on a mission. And he'd check on me every chance he got. I earned enough scholarships to pay my own way through college, but Jim help me out if I needed something extra. Taught me to drive, helped me buy my first car. Taught me to defend myself and stand up for what's right. He was my big brother but he was my best friend, too.”
“I'm sure he loved you very much.”
“I know he did. He didn't even blink an eye when I told him I was gay. I thought he’d be disappointed but he just nodded and said, 'Okay. I guess I'd better teach you how to fight like a soldier now.' So he did. It didn't matter to him.”
“He made a great leader with that attitude. Not everyone in the Army is that accepting. Some but not most.” His voice was raspy, filled with an emotion he couldn't afford to let run loose. This wasn't the time for his own pain. Not now. “His men must have loved him.”
“They did. Will and Brad were like brothers. And Vinny, he practically worshiped Jim.”
“They were a four man team?”
“No five. A fire team. Jim was their sergeant. One guy left after a few months. I didn't know his name. Didn't know the replacement either. That was back a couple of months before Jim died. It all kind of runs together sometimes.”
“Grief plays hell with your time sense. Regret, grief, pain, it all tears you up if you don't have someone or something to hold on to. The Army used to be my strength. But…things change.”
And lord, things had changed.
“The Army was Jim's life. He would have been a Ranger his whole career if he hadn't gotten killed. We're not even at war! Some stupid secret mission nobody cared about except some idiot general behind a desk! I don't even know how he died. They wouldn't tell me. I didn't even get all his personal effects, just a pack of official papers and his dog tags. I know Jim loved it, but I hate anything to do with the Army.”
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