Back To Back - Cameron Chelsea M. - Страница 40
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“I haven’t done anything but tell her the truth since the day you kidnapped me and brought me here,” Sylas says, his voice calm. “She’s come to this realization on her own. I had nothing to do with it.”
I wave my hands to get them to pay attention.
“Hello? I can fucking think for myself. I’m not some stupid girl who let her boyfriend lead her astray. I’ve been feeling this way for a long time but I was scared of you. I’m not scared of you anymore, Dad. You’re not God. You’re human. You don’t get to control my life anymore.” I did so much for him out of love, but also out of obligation. He was the only parent who loved me and accepted me and that was my payback. If I didn’t do what he wanted, maybe he might stop loving me.
The realizations are hitting me rapidly and my brain is whirring with so many thoughts I’m afraid they’re going to start spilling out my ears.
“I love you, Dad. I will always love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want this life. I don’t want to live like this,” I say and there are the tears. One at first, then two, then three and they start falling like gentle rain onto the carpet.
That causes a change in him. His anger fizzles and then the room is silent. Sylas reaches for me, but I hold him off. It’s time for me to stand up on my own two feet. For him, and for me.
“I can’t do this anymore, Dad. I can’t.” My voice is choked and I wish I was stronger than tears. I wish I had been stronger when I turned eighteen and started choosing what I wanted to study in college. I was so scattered at first because I didn’t want Dad to think I was abandoning him. Because who does he have if he doesn’t have me? The only woman he ever loved is dead.
There’s Lizzy, but she can’t be my replacement.
“Ladybug,” he says, coming around the desk and reaching out to me. I let myself walk into his hug. He rocks me back and forth and tries to soothe me. I do my best to get control of the tears so I can finish this.
“I never wanted you to resent me. I thought you wanted this. I really thought you wanted this,” he says I my ear. “You should have said something before.”
He’s right. I should have.
“I was scared. I didn’t want to disappoint you,” I say into his shirt. I turn my head and I see Sylas watching us with a strange look on his face. I’d almost call it envy. He definitely had shit luck in the father department.
“You could never disappoint me, Saige. Never.” He pulls back and looks down at me. There are tears in his eyes as well. His hands brush my wet cheeks and he places a kiss on my forehead.
“I love you so much, Saige. You’re the best thing I’ve ever done.”
Things have taken a turn and I don’t want to let this moment make me forget about my original intentions.
“You have to let them go,” I say. “If they want to work for you, that’s fine, but you have to let them go.” He searches my eyes.
“I’d do anything for you,” he says, but that’s not an answer. He takes a deep breath.
“I’m going to have to think about it.” That’s not the answer I want. He shouldn’t have to think about it. This should be an easy decision.
“That’s not good enough. I want you to say yes, now. You’re not going to lose me, I promise. We just won’t work together like we used to.” I know I’ll never be completely out. I might pick up a job here and there just to keep my skills sharp. I do enjoy the work, I just don’t want to make it my life.
“I can’t do that, Saige. There are other things to consider. I can’t give you the answer you want.” He steps back from me and I can almost hear my heart breaking. He’s saying no to me.
“Then we need to go. I need to go,” I back up and go for the door handle, my hand slipping on the knob. Someone else is there to help me unlock it so I can escape into the hallway.
Twenty-One
Dad, to his credit, lets me go. Sylas is close on my heels.
“What is all the commotion?” my mother says, coming out of her stupor long enough to notice something’s going on.
“Nothing,” I say, yanking open the front door. Mom yells after me, but I don’t pay attention as I walk swiftly to my car.
Sylas is right behind me and he gets in the passenger seat without a word.
I turn the car on, hit the gas, and we’re out of there.
My phone rings instantly, and I know it’s Dad.
“Can you turn that off for me?” I ask Sylas, motioning to my purse where I threw it in the middle console when I got into the car.
“Of course,” he says, pulling the phone out and turning it off. I drive in silence for a few minutes.
“I’ve never talked to him like that. Ever. We barely ever fight. My mom is usually the one I’m at odds with, if you couldn’t tell. He and I see eye to eye on almost everything. Until now, I guess.” But I didn’t know about everything he was doing. If I had, we might have had this fight earlier.
“You didn’t have to do that for me. I don’t want to come between you two.” I roll the windows down. I’m boiling up.
“It was going to happen anyway, Sylas. Even if I had never met you, I was going to have to get out somehow. I just needed the push to do it. Guess that push is you.” He came into my life and shook things up, in a big way. He’s given me the courage to stand up to my Dad and take control of my life for the first time. And I like to think I’ve been good for him too. We’ve been good for each other.
“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” I say, reaching out and taking his hand. “I don’t know if I could have done that alone.” I raise his hand to my mouth and kiss the back of it.
“I’m here for you, Saige. You’ve done so much for me recently. I can never repay you, but I’m going to do my best.” I look over and give him a smile.
“You’re doing a damn good job.”
We get back to my apartment, but I don’t want to be there.
“Let’s go somewhere,” I say. “I don’t want to just sit in the apartment and study.” That’s definitely what I should be doing, but I can shave a few hours off to go and do something with Sylas.
“How would you like to officially meet everyone?” Is he serious?
“Really?”
He nods.
“Sure. You’re a huge part of my life and so are they. It’s about time they met you in this capacity.” I raise an eyebrow.
“And what capacity is that?”
He mirrors my eyebrow raise.
“What capacity would you like it to be?” I smack him on the shoulder. It’s amazing that he can make me laugh at a time like this. Proof of his irresistible charms. Or at least his ability to cheer me up even when I’m in the darkest of places.
“I think that’s a discussion for another time. A time when we’re both not in turmoil. But yes, I would love to meet them. I feel like I know them already.” The last part just slips out and Sylas looks at me out of the corner of his eye.
“Your father used you for surveillance, didn’t he?” It seems like small potatoes at this point.
“Yes. I took some of the pictures, actually. And sent some of the messages.” I expect him to be upset, but he just laughs softly.
“I should have known. A lot of them had a snarky tone that is totally you.” He taps my shoulder. “I should have known it was you.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t because we might not have gotten here.”
“True.” He pulls out his phone and types in a few messages. Moments later there’s a buzzing sound.
“They’re all at a bar. You cool with meeting them there?” I feel bad that they’re hanging out without him. I haven’t thought about how much time he spends with me that he can’t spend doing other things or seeing other people. It makes me feel selfish.
“Absolutely. I bet you miss them.” He’s looking own at his phone and typing a response.
“I do. I miss working with them. I’ve been a little distracted as of late.” He says it with a smile.
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