Slut - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 49
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Who was I to argue with that? Especially when he pushed my legs to my chest, gaining at least another half an inch. As soon as I came for the second time, Paxton dropped my legs and pulled out of me, jerking himself over my sex. I was still riding my own waves so I didn’t really pay attention to the weirdness. Paxton always came inside me. Not that I minded it. I didn’t. Not at all. The first bout of come landed between my legs and the rest my lower stomach. Paxton moved my hand to his poison, and I massaged it through my opened folds, bringing it all home. Wow. That’s all I could think in my head.
“It’s bad, right? Don’t tell me.”
“No, we’re not doing that. We made a pact. I’ll tell you. I just have to figure it out in my mind first.”
“What’s it about? Can you at least tell me that?”
Paxton pulled me to my feet by my wrists, avoiding my soiled hand. “Let’s go soak in the tub.”
“I already did that.”
He didn’t really give me a choice. Not that I expected that out of him. “Do it with me.”
Paxton brushed his teeth and shaved while I ran water, filling it with purple bubbles. “Don’t you get tired of lavender?” He questioned through the mirror.
“No, my mom loved lavender.”
“How do you know that?”
I shrugged both my shoulders. “I don’t know, but I feel like it’s true.”
“I feel like that, too. You’ve always gravitated toward lavender.”
I sank into the tub for the second time, watching Paxton’s naked ass while he shaved. “I don’t understand why I never told you about her, or Izzy. It doesn’t make sense to me.”
“You’re not going to hear that part. I just listened to it.”
My eyes moved from his ass to his in the mirror. “Why didn’t I tell you?”
He splashed his face with water, rinsing white cream down the drain. “I told you not to,” he said from behind a towel.
I tried to contemplate his words, but I still didn’t understand. “What do you mean? Why?”
“Move up,” he ordered.
I slid up and moved between his legs, settling into his chest while his arms enveloped me. His lips touched my eyebrow and I felt warm words on my skin. I sort of loved this, being in the lavender scented bath with Paxton, my body nestled into his.
“It was the day you told me you were pregnant with Ophelia, the day I told you we were getting married.”
I blew out a puff of a sarcastic air. Of course he told me we were getting married. “Go on.”
“I told you we’d talk about it tomorrow.”
“Well, you can at least tell me why you never knew about my family.”
“I just told you. I didn’t want you to. That was the deal, the agreement we made when I decided to let you be my wife. It was in the stipulations.”
“What stipulations?”
“I don’t remember all of them. You wrote them down.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know. You probably threw it away.”
“Okay, whatever. What was that stipulation?”
Paxton twisted my left nipple between his fingers while he talked in a level tone, dry with no emotion. “You couldn’t have any baggage. I told you that I didn’t want meddling family up my ass and in my business. Your exact words to me were ‘I don’t have any family’ and you’d been in foster care since you were eleven. You lied, Gabriella. It’s not my fault that you didn’t speak up and tell me you had a sister. Even if you would have said you haven’t seen her since you were eleven. At least I wouldn’t have been so blindsided by all this.”
That pissed me off a little and I told him so. “You’re blindsided? I don’t even remember this. You can’t give me shit for being blindsided by anything. Try forgetting your entire life and learning it step by step the way I have. I should hate you. I shouldn’t be with you.”
“I’m trying to remember how hard it is for you, but it’s tough for me, too. More so than ever.”
I shook my head and exhaled a heavy breath. “You gotta give me more than that, Pax. What does that mean? More so than ever.”
“I can’t even explain it, Gabriella. It’s so fucked up. I fell in love with your eyes the moment I saw you. The fear in your eyes, the innocence, I don’t even know. You were like a baby fawn, and I craved you. I was fascinated that I could tell you to do anything I wanted, and you did it. After I told you that we were getting married, you told me that you were days away from being eighteen. That intensified my craving for you.”
“That makes you sound like a pedophile.”
“Thinking about it now does, but not then. Not when I was a twenty-seven-year-old man with this hot little sex slave right in front of my eyes. Up until the day you crashed that car, I could tell you to come to me with a look. I could send you a text message at three o’clock in the morning and tell you to come and suck my dick, and you’d do it. I could tell you to clean my office naked while I worked, and you’d do it.”
I stopped him with that, lightening the serious tone in his voice. “I’ll clean your office naked now.”
He snickered in my hair. “Okay, I’m holding you to it, but it’s different, Gabriella. You would never say that before. I had the cleanest room in the house. You didn’t protest, you didn’t talk back to me. If I called you into my office and told you how dirty it was, you automatically stood before me and undressed, eyes on the ground. I soaked up the obedience like a sponge. I was so fucking addicted to you.”
“You know, Pax, I’m trying my hardest not to be mad, and I’m so glad that I know I was gang raped and I don’t remember it. That terrified girl you’re talking about had one hell of a life before you. She deserved better than you.”
“She still does. I never knew about the gang rape. The first couple weeks you were there, I thought you were just some slut running from the cops or some shit. I can’t explain it, Gabriella, but it’s like this. I loved who you were then. Like straight up would have kept you that way for the rest of my life and never thought a thing about it. It’s like all that newness with you back then, is new again, only different. I think your pole dance from then and now would both turn me on. Only now you would put on a show, probably give me a lap dance. You would have never done something like that before.”
“You made me pole dance?”
“I made you do everything, and you did it.”
I took a deep breath and relaxed into his chest. “I mean, I get that you didn’t know about the rape, and I guess it’s not your fault I lied about not having a family, but did you like force me to marry you? Did you make me do it?”
“No, not at all. You told me you were pregnant, and I told you that we were getting married. You never protested. Not once.”
“I’ve never seen a wedding picture. We didn’t have a wedding, did we?”
“No, I’d just dropped a shit ton of money on one failed marriage, I wasn’t about to do it again.”
“So Tatiana the cheerleader got the wedding, and nobody Gabriella got the court house. I hate you.”
“I’ll give you a wedding now.”
I stood, letting the suds fall from my body to his, trying not to feel what I felt. “It’s not about the wedding, Paxton. It just hurts a little. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I can’t change it.”
“I’m fine, I’m just glad I don’t remember it. I’m hurt from a third party aspect. I’m sure that’s way better.” I stepped out of the tub and wrapped myself in a soft towel. “Is that it?”
“Is what it?”
“Is there more, or was that all that you were supposed to discuss with me?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to learn more after he slept on it. I know I didn’t like the way I felt.
For a brief second I thought I could read a lie in his expression, but then he sounded sincere. I chose to trust him rather than question him. “Oh, no. That’s it.”
“Good, I’m going to bed. Are you coming?”
“I’m going to work for a little bit.”
I almost told him to come to bed, but I stopped myself. Maybe I did want to be alone for a minute, let my emotions unwind without him clouding my mind with my heart. I nodded and left him alone.
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