Slut - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 44
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“Do you know why I did that, Gabriella? Why I kept you so busy?”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want you to cheat on me like Tatiana did. I thought if I kept you busy with the girls you wouldn’t have time.”
I frowned his way but didn’t look up to him. “She never came here, did she?”
“No, not to live. She never intended to.”
“But, Rowan? She just gave her up just like that? I can’t imagine doing that.” I couldn’t either. No way. It almost killed me to be away from them for three days. How could she just walk away like that? I didn’t get it.
“It’s not what you think. You think I kept her from seeing her, which was true in the beginning. I told her when she came here with the news of her new career that she wasn’t taking Rowan.”
“What career?”
“While I was here busting my ass, trying to get this house to her living standards, she was training to be a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader. She was never going to settle down here.”
“Wow, Rowan’s mom is a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader?”
“Was, she’s almost thirty now. I have no idea where she is.”
“Did she ever come here to see her?”
“A few times, but she hasn’t been here since Rowan was maybe eighteen months or so.”
“We would have had Phi by then.”
“Yes, we were married. Ophelia was just a wee little thing.”
“Did I meet her?”
“Yes, she was here that day when I got home from work. That’s not the direction I meant to go in. I don’t want to talk about that. We’re supposed to be discussing how we felt toward each other when this all started.”
“I think I loved you from the beginning.”
Paxton snorted again. “I don’t think you did.”
“Why did you want me? I mean, I’m hardly a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader.”
“You’re crazy. You could be if you wanted to be. You don’t have to use makeup and designer clothes to be beautiful. It’s natural for you.”
“Wow. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“It probably is,” Paxton admitted with a laugh.
I hated falling asleep in his arms that night. I hated the happy feelings and the security I felt with him. Paxton was the furthest thing from safe and secure. I knew it, and I still let my guard down every single time.
He dozed off first, breathing a relaxed breath while I wondered where to go next.
Eleven
Paxton wasn’t kidding when he said he had guys coming to help him close off my doors. That’s what I woke to. A grinding saw, echoing through the house.
I looked to his side of the empty bed and to the clock. “Seriously?” I said out loud. It was barely eight in the morning, and Paxton was sawing the house in half. On a Saturday to boot.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, he had Rowan and Phi helping. I could see them as soon as I walked out to the balcony, both carrying debris to a wagon parked right in the middle of the tiled patio, pieces falling into the pool. I tucked the sheet underneath my armpits and yelled down. Five times.
“Paxton!” I yelled just as he shut the saw off.
“What?” He questioned, safety glasses flipping to the top of his head while he looked at me like I was the silly one.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh hey, Mrs. Pierce,” Pete said, eyes peering up from below me.
With a polite nod to Pete, I tightened my sheet and glared down at Paxton. “I thought we were going to talk about this. Don’t you think you’re rushing it?”
“Look, Mom. We’re helping, and then Daddy is going to let us paint,” Phi called up with a hand over her eyes.
Paxton turned to Ophelia, carrying a brick to the wagon. “Not today. We have to let the mud dry first, remember?” He questioned before turning back to me. Phi ignored him when Rowan told her that her brick was bigger. “What did we need to talk about? I don’t get it.”
I groaned and walked inside and slid on a pair of his boxer shorts and a t-shirt. Jumbled thoughts of why I was so mad filled my mind while I rolled the top down on my shorts and descended the stairs.
Seeing the mess seared my rage even more. We had someone from state coming in one day and Paxton decided to tear up the house. All of the clothes from my closet were piled in three piles on our dining room table, my drawers full of clothes were stacked in three stacks, and boxes of who knew what splattered the floor. My bathroom things, all my makeup, my shoes, everything took up the entire dining area, and a thick layer of dust, blanketed everything. I turned in a circle, shaking my hair with my fingers. A failed attempt to calm down.
“Jesus, Gabriella. When the hell did you get so goddamn beautiful?”
“What?” I questioned with an instant sense of gratification.
“You’re fucking gorgeous. Why didn’t I see that before?”
I couldn’t help it. I cracked like an uncooked egg, the smile a dead giveaway. “Because you’re an idiot, and I’m not trying to be beautiful. I’m trying to be pissed off at you. What the hell are you doing, Paxton?”
“I told you this was happening.”
“I didn’t think you meant tomorrow, Saturday,” I said while I tried to remember the conversation. Did he say tomorrow? “You can’t just pack all my stuff and throw it out like this. We don’t have time for this.”
“Yes we do. You didn’t want me to get dust all over your stuff, did you?”
I couldn’t even think straight yet. Everything in sight was dusty. “I have to get coffee.”
Paxton stopped me when I tried to sidestep him and the mess he had made. On the wrong Saturday! “There’s plenty of time, Gabriella. I’ll help you move your stuff up to our room tonight, and we’ll go shopping for Vander tomorrow.”
Our room, that’s the only thing I heard. “You can’t just do this. I never even said I wanted any of this.”
“Vander? You don’t want Van?”
“Of course I do, but you don’t know that is even going to happen. I never even said I would sleep in the same bed with you. Paxton, no. You’re going too fast.”
“Too fast? I’m doing this for you, Gabriella. I’m trying like fuck to make things right with you.”
“Paxton, you haven’t even given me time to process the whole Lane thing. Would you have ever told me had I not found out?”
Paxton shook his head in disbelief. “Why do you have to ruin it, Gabriella?”
“Ruin it? Hmm, okay. I’m just going to go get coffee before this turns into something nasty. I’ve already got a bad taste in my mouth.”
“I don’t get it. Last night you were fine, sitting on my face and fucking my brains out. You didn’t seem to have a problem with that last night. What the fuck, Gabriella? What the fuck do you want me to do?”
“Watch your mouth for one thing,” I said with a glare, ducking around him in search of the girls. I looked up to him, placing my fists on my hips. “Look, I know this is an adjustment for you, too, but you gotta see things from my side. Jesus Paxton, you guys used me like some slut you picked up from a bar.”
“No, from a beach. I did think you were a slut. You never said no, Gabriella. Not once did you say no.”
“I was scared, Pax.”
“You say that like you remember it.”
“No, I say it like I feel it. You treated me like trash.”
Paxton moaned while the back of his head banged off the wall in frustration. Like he had anything to be frustrated about. I was the one he treated like a slut. “I treated you like that because you let me, because the fear in your eyes ignited every fire in me, and you asked for it.”
That pissed me off. “I asked for it. Oh, okay, well, since I asked for it.”
“Fuck this, Gabriella. I’m trying to show you how much you’re igniting the fire in me now. Can’t that be enough?”
My eyes narrowed on him while I contemplated his words. “You mean because you were getting bored with me before? What happens when you get bored the next time? Maybe I’ll get my memory back and that’ll keep you entertained for a little while?”
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