Slut - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 33
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“What if you didn’t?”
“Oh, my God. I did. For whatever stupid reason I married you. I’m sure of that. The only doubt I have is the stuff you keep coming up with. Stop making me doubt who I am.”
“I never meant it when I said I couldn’t love another man’s child. I’m sorry I said that. I don’t want to leave him there.”
I uncrossed my arms and walked to him. “I still don’t know how to fix this,” I admitted as Rowan and Phi squeezed around me, magic stones in hand.
“It’s cause you need to recharge your rock, Mommy,” Phi assured me.
Of course Rowan helped. “We have to put them together. Mi said so.”
Paxton smiled at them, taking his magnetic leader from his pocket, and welcoming them both to his lap.
“Come on, Mom,” both girls ordered when I just stood there. I didn’t want to recharge with Paxton. Not yet.
“I’m going to get a shower. I’ll charge up later.”
“Please,” Ophelia begged with that same worried look. She needed the magic for something to believe in, and I couldn’t say no to that.
I pulled Paxton’s stool from his drafting table toward them and sat, letting our four stones come together, eyes on Paxton. Four clicks was all Ophelia needed. An instant smile assured her that we were okay. The magic rocks made it that way. Of course they did. They were magic. Mi said so.
I didn’t really participate in the conversation going on between Paxton and the girls. I lived in that moment, unsure of where my stone was. My hand covered two little ones, and Paxton’s covered mine while the girls talked about school again. Once again the mental note was planted to find out about school clothes, supplies, and whatever else goes into that preparation.
I know it wasn’t the magic at all. It was this family, our hands held together, and the way Paxton’s thumb swiped the back of my hand. I loved it. I loved him, and I loved our magic. Even if it was all messed up. It was ours and nothing could change that, until it could.
~~
“Come up here,” Paxton said as soon as I walked out to the patio. I hadn’t seen him since I left him alone in his office with the girls. I waited until he put them to bed before saying goodnight myself. Avoiding the inevitable was the only thing I had. We had so much to talk about, so many things to say, yet neither of us knew what, let alone how. The longer I avoided the video that I knew would be hitting my email in a few short minutes, the longer I kept from facing another what the fuck moment. It didn’t matter how much I pep talked myself. Allowing the thought of hopefulness was always replaced with a half empty glass.
I looked up without a response, and turned around. I went to him, not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t want to be alone, and I sort of wanted to be near him. Paxton stood in front of the half moon, eyes on the door while he waited for me.
I walked right up to him and fell right into his arms, all thoughts gone. We stood that way for a few minutes, my head on his chest, his lips in my hair, and his arms around my back. No words, just a moment to do whatever. Come together? I wasn’t really sure what that was, but it felt needed.
When I did look up it was because of the click in our pockets. I smiled up to him and accused him of being coy. “You didn’t do that on purpose.”
“What? Make our stones come together? Yes I did.”
“You sure you weren’t trying to get a little contact?”
Paxton was extremely persistent in his defense. “Swear to God. This little thing has more magnetic force than I’ve ever seen. I felt it move when yours attracted it. I did do it on purpose.”
“I’m sorry I hit you,” I said as the tips of my fingers touched the little goose egg below his eye.
“That hurt,” he admitted with a kiss to my nose.
“Pussy,” I teased with half a smile.
“We doing this?”
I took a deep breath and dropped my head to his chest again. “Yes. We have to.”
“It’s nice out. Want to sit out here?”
I nodded and walked out to the fluffy love seat. The stone from my pocket kept my mind busy while Paxton retrieved his laptop and a blanket. I weaved it between each finger, hoping it worked. If there was ever a time I needed magic, it was now. The sky was a deep dark purple with a hint of amber and the air was cool. Perfect for the somber mood.
Paxton sat beside me and went to my email. Nothing yet, but we still had ten minutes. Knowing Mi, she wouldn’t hit send until the time she told me she would send it.
“You think she’ll send it?”
“Oh yeah. Mi does what she says she’ll do.”
“How the hell did you meet up with this chick anyway?”
“I told you. I went there to see Nick, not her. I just got lucky. Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you about school. Shouldn’t we be shopping for that? I don’t even know where they’re going.”
“Um, they both went there last year. You bought their uniforms at the end of school last year, something about them discontinuing the skirts you liked or something. We have a meeting Tuesday with Rowan’s teacher.”
“Yeah, I knew that,” I lied. I chastised myself for adding unneeded chaos to my mind. Of course it was taken care of. I never met a more organized person than me. Except maybe Paxton. He could no doubt run a household without me, but I sure didn’t want him to. “Do I know what the meeting is for?”
Paxton leaned in and kissed my lips with a smile. “I guess you probably don’t. They want to test Rowan again. She was extremely bored in Kindergarten. They’re not sure she needs first grade. She’s doing everything on a third-grade level.”
“Yes. I knew that girl was a genius.”
“She is. Not Phi,” he said with his head moving from side to side, a smile forming on his lips.
“Phi’s smart,” I said, instantly coming to her defense.
“Phi’s a conman. She’s going to be a fun one. She can’t sit still long enough to learn anything.”
I chuckled a little with that. It was sort of true. “She’s a conman with you because you let her be. She’s perfectly capable of putting those tight pants on Barbie. I tell her to find something else for her to wear when she whines, I can’t do it,” I said in the same whiny voice Ophelia used to con her daddy into dressing her Barbie with the hard clothes and the skin tight pants you had to roll up her legs.
“I hate fucking Barbie. Who the hell came up with that idea anyway?”
I laughed ridiculously hard, but at my own joke. For a second I thought he said he hated fucking Barbie as in, he hated having sex with her. It was dumb, but it lightened the tension a little more between us.
“That’s not what I meant,” he instantly countered, knowing exactly what I found so funny.
I don’t know what happened after that. We got quiet and stared, smiles dissipating with the sudden change in vibes. Paxton leaned in to kiss me, and I met him halfway, parting my lips for his tongue. His body forced me to my back, and his hands went up my ribs on both sides. My fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck while one hand rested in a fist over his heart, a magic stone hidden inside.
“We can make it okay, Gabriella. No matter what happens, we can make it,” he quietly said with soft words to my lips.
“I’m scared,” I confessed.
Silence, a deep breath, and the same fear. “Me, too,” he admitted.
I felt his body stiffen with mine when we heard the ding. The email that had the potential to break us.
“We’ve got this,” he promised with a reassuring wink and a quick peck to my lips. Paxton pulled me up and I sat right next to him, my magic rock in hand. I needed all the help I could get, supernatural or not.
Paxton leaned forward to open the email, sending his magnetic rock into mine from his pocket. It was sign. A good one. We were going to get through this together and come out better on the other end.
He pulled the stupid little rock from his pocket and locked it with mine while the video loaded. Hand in hand, heart to heart, and me tucked into his left side, we both took in a few more deep breaths of air. Courage for what lay ahead, no longer in the distance. It was here. Facing us both right in the face.
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