AIDEEN - Casey L.A. - Страница 23
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Kane opened his mouth, but closed it when no words came out. I watched his hands ball into fists just as I felt the tears that welled up in my eyes spill onto my cheeks.
“Please let me come to you.”
I shook my head. “I was in labour all day... and you were out helpin’ Ryder with that horrible stuff.”
Kane swallowed. “I’m—”
“Your brothers held my hands, listened to me scream and curse at them, and did everythin’ in their power to help me. They never left me side the entire time. They were scared shitless, but they were there for me.”
“Aideen,” Kane whispered, his own eyes glazing with unshed tears.
“You almost missed him comin’ into this world.”
Kane couldn’t hold my gaze anymore. He dropped his head and sagged his shoulders in shame.
“I’m disgusted with myself for not being here for it all.”
I was disgusted with him too.
“What did I tell you?” I asked him.
He looked up at me and shrugged.
“I told you I wouldn’t be with you when you’re attached to that life.”
Pure panic marred Kane’s features.
“Please,” he begged in a low voice. “Please forgive me. I won’t do it again. I won’t help Ryder ever again. I swear on my life.”
It hurt me seeing him so desperate, but I decided I had to be cruel to be kind. I loved him, and I was not letting our relationship fail because of his stupid mistakes. He was my forever, and I was going to make him realise the baby and myself were his.
I kept my expression as blank as I possibly could; I tried my hardest to be heartless.
I was about to scare him straight.
“I think you should leave,” I said, locking my gaze with his.
“Aideen,” he choked and stumbled forward until his knees knocked into our bed. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t do this.”
Don’t break until he does.
“I didn’t do anythin’, you did,” I replied leisurely. “I’ve asked you, no I’ve begged you, repeatedly, to tell me what you and Ryder were up to, and I’ve pleaded with you not to be involved with it... but you completely ignored me. You said it wouldn’t take you from me, but it has. You almost missed the birth of your son for it… was it worth it?”
“I’m so sorry,” he croaked, as tears fell from his eyes and dropped onto his cheeks.
Put the fear of God into him.
“No, I’m sorry, Kane,” I said with a shake of my head. “I’m sorry I let this go so far. I truly thought your love and respect for me would be enough for you to do the right thing, but I’m obviously not worth it. You chose somethin’ dangerous, illegal and plain disgustin’ over me.”
I looked down to my left hand, wiggled the engagement ring off my finger and threw it to the end of the bed where it landed before him. He looked at me with widened eyes and the look of utter heartbreak that encased him was almost too much for me to bear. But I needed him to realise that he could lose me over something he thought wasn’t much of a problem.
I wanted him scared shitless.
“Please don’t leave me,” he cried. “I’d die without you.”
I looked to our son so he wouldn’t see my act was falling apart.
“If you don’t put me first, what’s to say you won’t put him first?”
I looked back to Kane as he grabbed my engagement ring and crawled up the bed until he was face to face with me.
“I’m begging you not to do this. You and that precious boy are my everything, I swear to you.”
I frowned. “I don’t know if that’s enough for us to work.”
“Babydoll,” he breathed and placed his hands on my cheeks. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. I don’t want to lose what I live for. You and our son. I never thought it was possible to love two people as much as I do you two. I love you both so much it hurts. Please, don’t take away my reason for living.”
Damn him!
I leaned into him. “You swear on his life that you’re done with anything related to your old life?”
“I swear.” He frantically nodded. “I swear to God.”
I regarded him for a long moment before I nodded and said, “Okay.”
Kane crumbled before me, and pressed his forehead against mine. I forced myself not to fall apart, but my God it was hard. I had never seen him so broken, and it gutted me that I caused it, but I had to.
I had to scare him into believing I was really done with him; if I hadn’t, who knows how long he would have ‘helped’ Ryder for. For all I knew, it probably would have forced us apart in the long run and broken our family.
“I love you so fucking much,” he whispered.
I put my arms around his neck. “I love you too, sweetheart... now give me my ring back.”
Kane wiped his face before he placed the ring back on my finger and kissed it. I lifted my hand and nudged his head up until he was looking at me.
“You have me heart,” I told him. “Don’t ever forget that.”
He nodded his head. “I won’t, not ever.”
I kissed him then, and he kissed me back with a fierce hunger. It lasted a few moments before he pulled back and rustled around until he was under the bed cover next to me.
“Lie down,” he urged. “I need to hold you.”
He helped me get settled on the bed before he stretched out next to me.
“Babydoll?”
I snuggled back against him and murmured, “Yes.”
“I say it all the time, but I really do love you with all of my heart. You know that, right?”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “I know, babe. I’m sorry about being so horrible, I never want to hurt you or make you cry.”
“You had every right to be furious with me. I almost missed our son being born over Ryder and his stupid deals.”
I snuggled into my pillow. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. It’s done now and your decision has been made. You made it for his birth and that’s all that matters.”
I felt Kane nod as he hugged me, lowering his hands down to my stomach.
“It’s all flabby,” I grumbled.
Kane snorted. “It’s weird that your stomach isn’t huge and hard. I can still feel a smaller bump, but Branna said that will go down in a few days as your womb starts the process of shrinking back to normal.”
I looked over my shoulder. “You talked to her about stuff like that?”
“All the time,” he nodded. “I want to know what you’re going through.”
I smiled and looked forward, staring into our son’s Moses basket.
“What will we name him?” I questioned.
Kane sighed. “I don’t know, what do you like?”
I grinned. “Promise you won’t laugh?” Kane nodded his head so I said, “Jax.”
He broke his promise and laughed, lowly.
“Hey.”
“Sorry,” he chuckled.
I frowned. “You don’t like it.”
“I actually do. I was just thinking of how Jax Teller brought us together that fateful day in Ryder and Branna’s house.”
I grinned. “Through Jax Teller all things are possible.”
Kane chuckled. “Jax Slater... that sounds cool.”
“Jax Slater,” I repeated. “I love it.”
“So we’re settled on his name being Jax?”
I nodded with excitement and said, “Yeah, but what will his middle name be?”
“I was thinking of his middle name being after your dad.”
I felt my lower lip wobble. “Really?”
“Of course,” Kane nodded. “Your dad is awesome, and the look of admiration and love he holds for you and Jax fills my heart. He is a good man, and will be an awesome papaw.”
I beamed. “Papaw. That’s so cute, I love that.”
Kane chuckled. “So his name is Jax Daniel Slater?”
“Yes! Wait, Jax Daniel... is it just me, or does that sound like Jack Daniels?”
Kane suddenly burst into laughter. “We can’t change it now, we already agreed.”
Oh, man.
I lightly laughed. “Me da will get a right kick out of this.”
“I love you, Jax,” Kane murmured after out laughter subsided.
I placed my hands on top of his and said, “Me and you?”
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