Suit - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 57
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Paxton ran both hands through his hair again, pulled with two fists, and groaned. His hands dropped to his waist and his words softened.
“I thought we were invincible. I thought we had a good thing going. Something nobody could touch. Something most men only dream about. I fucking had it, Gabriella, and you fucked it up.”
“You’re not talking about Lane anymore, are you?” I asked while taking one cautious step toward him.
“Not even a little.” His voice changed to a defeated tone and a heavy sigh. I took another step. “It’s this, Gabriella. You don’t come to me. I come to you.”
Another step and quiet words.
“I want to come to you, Pax. I don’t know what I did with Lane, but I know I don’t want to be in his arms. I want you.”
“But you didn’t before. Why now?”
“I don’t know. I know you’re tired of hearing that, but I don’t. I can’t answer that, and I’m not sure I ever will.”
Paxton’s lips crushed hard into mine. A fervent kiss full of emotion. My robe went to the concrete and my ass went to the cold wall. He slid into me with ease and I felt every inch. We kissed with deep emotion, passion rising like the tide. I barely noticed when he leaned me backward, pressing his lips to my chest. I trusted him. I may not have at one time, but right there in that moment, I did. I trusted him with my life. He wouldn’t let me fall.
I swore the night before after the fourth or fifth orgasm that I never wanted another one. I did. I wanted it more than anything, and I wanted to experience it with him.
There was something there. Something neither of us could deny. If Paxton didn’t feel what I felt when we touched, when we kissed, and when we made love, there was something seriously wrong with him. It was there. He had to feel it, too.
Angry words were spoken while he pumped, in and out of me. “Fuck, Gabriella. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I didn’t want this. This is so fucked up. I didn’t want this.”
“Hmm, okay,” I moaned while moving his thumb to my aching nub. I moved it into me, directing him to keep up the momentum in small circles. He growled like a bear, but did it. “Ahh, yes, baby. Right there. Hmm,” I whimpered with an arched back.
Paxton pulled me to his body and slid out of me. Damn. “Get up here before I drop you.” For a second I thought we were going to bed. We weren’t. Paxton spun me toward the ocean and resumed his positon. That was magical. Paxton took me from behind while I stared out to the endless ocean. The euphoric conditions were as enchanted as the moon, and I may have been in love. Jesus. I was in love with Paxton.
I never left Paxton’s arms that night. I slept close to his chest the entire night. We made love again before we got up, and then I saw him off to work at the door. Another page turned. Another breaking point. Maybe. Hopefully. We’d see. After the last couple months I’d had, I needed a break.
“What are you doing?” Paxton asked with an aggressive tone and a smile.
I tugged on the hem of his T-shirt and stood on the tips of my toes. “I’m seeing you off to work. Let me be nice.”
Paxton wrapped an arm around my back and pulled me to him with a handful of bare ass. He didn’t speak again, but he did kiss me goodbye. That was something. That was a lot for Paxton.
The neighborhood looked gloomy with a gray haze, hovering above. I watched the black truck until I couldn’t see it anymore and closed the door.
Life suddenly became about us after that day. Paxton, me, Rowan, and Phi. I still let Paxton have the control. Mostly, but on my terms. I never saw my neighbor friends, and they never reached out to me. Not that I expected them to or anything. I’m sure had the tables been turned, I would have felt the same way. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Something happened between Lane and me. Candace had the proof, and the other girls hated me. I couldn’t help that, and I couldn’t fix it. I didn’t even remember it.
I wished it didn’t happen, but it did. The more things about me opened up, the more I didn’t like me. Not the me from before. If I cheated on Paxton it was for good reason, and I’m not sure I felt guilty for that. I did however feel bad for Candace. I really liked her, and I really did feel like we were friends. Nonetheless, things seemed to be okay between Paxton and me. For the first time since I’d forgotten my name, I felt happy. Like things were going to be okay.
I was happy without friends. I had all the friends I needed in my family. My two little Clydes would be loyal to the end, Paxton was debatable, but I was okay with that. Things changed after my accident, and there was nothing I could do about that, and I was tired of looking back. I just wanted to leave it all behind and move forward, and that’s exactly what I did. I stopped worrying about my past and who I was before. All I could do was be a better person now. From this point forward.
The next few days were trying. Paxton and I butted heads numerous times. I backed down when I knew I needed to, and held my own when I could. When I could get away with it. Paxton had a look about him when I knew it was enough. Sometimes he would give in when he didn’t want to. Those times were the ones that made me scratch my head. Wonder how in the hell I ended up with a guy like Paxton. A man with a short fuse and a control streak a mile long.
Like our Disney trip. He told me to make the plans. I made them with two very excited little girls. It wasn’t like I could read his mind. How was I supposed to know that he didn’t want to stay inside of Disney? That I was on a budget? He never said that. He told me to plan it and he’d take care of the payment. I did what he told me to do.
We’d just got done eating fresh salads with garden fresh squash. Paxton and Rowan had grilled chicken. Mine and Phi’s sprinkled with shredded Munster cheese. Phi was the new vegetarian, unwilling to eat the meat. She was a vegetarian like her mom. Until her dad wanted bacon or cheeseburgers. Then she’d would wait until next time to be a vegetarian. She was so funny.
“Why can’t I just have real chicken? Barbequed on the grill?” Paxton asked while taking around his salad.
I scooted Rowan’s glass of lemonade back when she almost spilled it and raised my eyebrows toward the sky. “You can. You can even add a half cup of Pepto if you want.”
“Funny.”
“True story,” I said with a little sass. It was true. Every time Paxton insisted on something greasy and fried, he was on the hunt for Rolaids or Pepto.
“I did fine with that stuff before.”
“Did you? Watch what you’re doing Row-row. You’re going to spill that.”
“Well, Daddy gave me the heavy glass.”
“You wanted that one,” Paxton said in an argumentative tone.
Her elbow straightened out on the table, her hand fell beside her plate, and she gave him her very serious look. “Well, I’m six.”
I laughed. I had to. It was too darn cute, and point blank. Like he should have known better than listen to a six year old. Epic.
Paxton changed the subject. Only because Paxton hated to be put in his place. “Ha, ha. Did you make plans for Ophelia’s birthday vacation?”
Ophelia was the one to answer. “Yes, and we’re going to stay in a pool. Right, Mommy?”
“Something like that. It’s a water resort. Two miles from the park. It’s so cool, Pax. Wait until you see it. We can spend a few days just relaxing there.”
“And there’s four water slides,” Rowan said while helping me out with the excitement card. I couldn’t wait.
Paxton pissed on my Cheerios as soon as he looked at my plans. He didn’t say it words, he didn’t put out the excitement fire the girls had burning, but he didn’t have to. The look he gave me and the two little lines on his forehead told me he was pissed.
It wasn’t until I started carrying things in from outside that he told me what his problem was. He helped. That right there was a dead giveaway. Paxton never helped me with chores. It wasn’t his job.
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