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My lungs filled with air and my foot stopped on the bottom step. I knew without a doubt that I’d crossed a line, and I was about to cross another one. I ascended the steps with another deep breath. A deep breath of courage.

Here goes nothing.

Chapter Fifteen

 

 

Paxton was in the shower when I entered the bathroom. I sat my drink on the sink and gathered the clothes that he’d tossed on the floor. Right next to the hamper. His phone and wallet were still in his jeans. I placed them on the counter and leaned against the vanity.

“I didn’t do anything to disobey you, Paxton,” I called over the water.

Paxton stuck his head out and I could see the anger practically steaming from his ears. “Get the fuck out of here. I’ll deal with you later.”

“No. Stop doing that. I can’t live like that, Paxton. I don’t know anyone who could. You gotta let me have one of the reigns. If you want this to work, you have to let me have a say in a few things around here, too. I don’t think that’s asking for too much.”

Again, he stuck his head out. “Get the fuck out of here. Now, Gabriella.”

I sighed and took my drink. He watched as I downed the last of it and sashayed toward him. “Kill him with kindness” rang in my head. A soft voice. My mother.

“I’m going to leave you alone, but don’t be mad at me. I didn’t do anything to be vindictive to you. I’m sorry,” I said with a quick peck to his wet lips. He kissed me back, but instantly pulled away, confusion in his green eyes. I walked out, swinging my hips to entice him.

The girls did an amazing job cleaning up, and they didn’t even fight. Rowan was busy scooping the little bit of leftover casserole into a glass bowl with a lid while Rowan placed silverware, neatly into the dishwasher. Each utensil with its own compartment.

“I have the best little girls in the entire world. Thank you, Row-row.”

“And me, too. I put the salad away. See?” Ophelia pointed out her good deed, desperately seeking the same attention.

“Wow! Thank you, love. You did an amazing job. Both of you. Let’s all go find pajamas and go get settled for the movie.”

“Can we have popcorn, too?”

I laughed at both girls when they said the exact same thing at the exact same time. Just like Izzy and I used to do. I couldn’t even think about that yet. It made my head hurt too much. That memory, or whatever the hell it was, got tossed to the back of my mind. Paxton was what stood prominent. Right smack dab in front.

“Yes, we’ll have popcorn, but later. Go on. Find your jammies. I would get a long nightgown or pants. It’s freezing in there,” I said while I poured another drink and finished cleaning up.

“Aren’t you going to wear pajamas, too?” Rowan asked as she handed me another plate for the dishwasher.

“I’ll find something. Run along now,” I said with a pat to her butt. I already knew what was in my pajama drawer. Nothing. Skimpy panties that went up my ass. I had comfortable clothes I could wear, but I sort of wanted to stay in my jeans and heels. I kind of liked the way Paxton looked at me when I walked. It was my ass in the jeans. It had to be. Even I stopped to look at myself when I passed the glass doors, or the mirror in the hall. I’d do me.

I poured two more drinks for Paxton and me, and grape juice for the girls. My attention went to the buzzing on the table, and my phone vibrating twice. I walked toward it, but Paxton beat me to it. Our eyes locked and he swiped his thumb across the screen, eyes bouncing quickly over the words.

“No,” he said before dropping the phone back on the table.

I picked it up and read the text message from Candace, wanting to do lunch tomorrow. I didn’t say anything in response, thinking I’d text her back later. I examined Paxton with my drink, sipping the contents with a snarl.

“What is this shit? You don’t make mixed drinks, and we don’t really drink like this.”

“It’s something I made up. Cranberry juice, Sprite, Grey Goose, and frozen pineapple juice.  I like making them, and we don’t drink every day. I had a rough day.”

Paxton took a sip of my mixed drink with a refreshing sigh. I might have put a little more alcohol in his, hoping to mellow him out some. “Yeah, we’ll talk about that later. Don’t plan my evening for me before you talk to me. I don’t have time for a movie. I needed to work.”

I carefully watched him stroll toward me, eyes never breaking contact with his. His hair was damp and uncombed, and his T-shirt stuck to his body. The smell of his cologne reached me before he did. Intoxicating. “It’s almost seven. You’ve worked all day.”

“You look hot in these jeans. How come you didn’t dress like this before? And you hate lipstick.”

“I do?”

I slipped my arm around his shoulder and he made a funny expression as if it wasn’t normal for me to do such a thing. I guess I used to be just a robot before. Evidently, I never felt anything. I tilted my head to the side and admitted the truth. “I don’t remember. Maybe you could tell me how I dressed before.”

“Not like this. Not hot. I had to make you wear lipstick, and you pretty much lived in jean shorts and tee-shirts.”

“Really? That doesn’t feel like me.”

“It was. You’re in so much fucking trouble,” Paxton said with warm words to my lips. I sensed something unusual in Paxton’s touch at that very moment. The way he held my ribs gently with both hands felt different. I don’t know how, but it did. His fingers softly ran up my arms and to my neck. His touch was special. It didn’t feel threatening like it had before. His fingers folded around my throat and his lips met mine. My body tingled clear to the tips of my toes. Our mouths opened and our tongues searched each other out. Desperately.

“Jesus Christ, Gabriella. What the fuck happened to us?” Paxton panted with sultry words.

I had no response. Instead, I kissed him. Deep and hard. Fervently showing how much I wanted him with every touch. His fingers tightened around my throat and he kissed me back, letting a soft moan hum in my mouth.

“Eww, stop doing that,” Ophelia said with a hand between both of us. She shoved us apart and lifted her arms for her dad.

“What? You don’t like it when Daddy kisses Mommy?” he teased with stiff fingers digging into her ribs. She cackled and lunged forward. Paxton pretended to let her fall to the floor and caught her right before she hit.

“Well, you didn’t do it before she come home,” Rowan said while her arms too went into the air. Paxton tossed Ophelia over his shoulder and grabbed her up, too. They both squealed, upside down as he walked them to the theater.

I stared after them feeling heavy hearted. That’s the only words I know how to describe it. Heavy. Like a bomb being filled with more and more. One that would eventually go off. Filled to capacity. An explosion. A deadly eruption.

A dense sigh slipped through my lips and I gathered the girls’ cups. Shaking it off seemed to be what I did best. Blow it off. Compartmentalize it. That’s what I did. The only problem was, I never got back to them. I ignored them. Filled the ticking bomb even more.

“Where’s my drink?” Paxton questioned as he reached for both the cups from my hand.

My eyes shifted to the screen on the wall and back to his. “You mean the drink you don’t like?”

“I like it,” he said in some sort of high-pitched tone. He cleared his throat and said it again.

I blew out a puff of air with my crooked smile and winked at him. “I’ll get your drink.”

I did get it. I topped his off with a little more vodka and fixed myself another one. Drunk sex sounded like the perfect punishment for my disobedience.

As much as I loved my girls, I didn’t want to sit between them during the movie. I wanted Paxton on one side of me. They weren’t having it. They both insisted on sitting next to me. One on each side.

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