My Dutch Billionaire - Tee Marian - Страница 9
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- 9/22
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“Anywhere will suffice.” As soon as they were seated, she realized the reason why he had said so. His bodyguards had followed them inside, and once again they formed a human wall to keep everyone away from their employer.
“You are okay?”
Why did he care? It was what she wanted to ask, but she managed to keep her bitterness at bay. It was not his fault that he did not love her, was not his fault that she could not be what he wanted in a wife.
She said finally, “I’ve started to move on.”
“I see.” His fists clenched under the table. She had started to move on. He did not know what he should make of the words. He knew now that he loved Serenity like no other man would ever love her, but he also knew it was that very same emotion which allowed him to hurt her like no man ever could either.
“I would like to tell you something.”
She thought immediately of Shane. He was going to tell her that he was going to marry Shane, and she almost reared back at the mere thought of it. Even though she had left home two months ago, her sister had not stopped taunting her. Shane regularly left messages in her voice mail, and like an incurable addict, Serenity was unable to stop herself from listening to every one of them.
Willem and I had a date at Zurich. He had the company jet fly me over and we fucked each other in his private cabin. Have you had that with the billionaire yet? I bet not. I bet you want to, but you know what? I’m going to bet you’ll never be able to experience it.
Willem and I were on the phone for hours, and the whole time I kept waiting for him to ask about you. But he didn’t. It’s like he’s forgotten you ever existed.
Willem’s flying to Greece, and I may have convinced him to see you. I told him that you’ve matured, and you’re going to be less clingy now probably. Shane’s voice had lowered, and it took a sly and cruel tone as she spoke the rest of her message. I told him I’m cool with him messing around with you again. I told him it would be so easy for him to lie his way back into your good graces, since you’re a cheap, mindless whore who thinks that giving up your virginity is a way of keeping a man chained to you.
She had thought Shane was only making the last few things up to hurt her. But obviously it wasn’t so. Because Willem was here now, and seeing him devour her with patently hungry eyes, she came to two realizations that made Serenity feel sick to her stomach.
One: he had no idea she knew about him and Shane, knew that he was only here now because Shane had told him she might be willing to play the whore for him again.
Two: the knowledge didn’t make any difference to her feelings.
She still loved Willem de Konigh, and the truth tore her apart.
“Did you hear me, Sere?”
She almost flinched at his use of her nickname. Once, it had made her feel special. But now, she wondered bitterly if it was just the billionaire’s “style,” his way of making all of his paramours feel special.
“I heard you,” she managed to say. Still unable to meet his gaze, she continued in the same stilted fashion, “And I’m listening.”
Something was wrong, Willem kept thinking. There was something in the way she spoke, something in the way she couldn’t make herself look at him. In the end, he told himself he was being foolish. Of course something was wrong. Everything was wrong, and it had been so the moment he had allowed his past to color his thoughts and beliefs about love. And if not for a certain pair of interfering strangers, he would have remained blind about his ignorance.
Drawing his breath, he said tautly, “I left you because I did think I didn’t love you.”
Ah. Serenity’s lip curled in self-hatred. “You’re not saying anything I don’t know, Mr. de Konigh.”
He flinched at the way she said his name but knew that he deserved it. “But what you saw was a setup. Shane wasn’t—”
“No.” She didn’t want to hear him lying, didn’t want him to hear him prove Shane’s every word true. “I don’t want to hear anything about that anymore.” She forced herself to meet his gaze, and she wanted to cry and scream when she saw the agony in the billionaire’s gaze.
Liar!
Liar!
Liar!
How could he pretend so easily that he was hurting just like she was?
“This is a mistake,” she said tightly.
Willem saw Serenity start to stand up, and he moved swiftly. “No!” He grabbed her hand, his fingers tightening around her wrist just before she could leave the booth.
His touch burned her. It was as if the millions of cells that made her up had flocked to the place where his fingers held her and had become the source of her very life. She breathed, lived, burned for his touch, and it was so damn pathetic.
Shane had been right.
She was pathetic.
And she couldn’t help it.
She wanted it to be over but she couldn’t help it. She had loved Willem de Konigh for five years. She had loved him since she was fourteen, and even though he had ripped her heart out with his betrayal, it still wasn’t enough to completely kill her feelings for him.
“Please.” The billionaire’s voice was just as tight as hers had been, and hearing him plead the very same way she had pleaded with him not so long ago nearly drove her insane.
She fell limply back into her seat. “Let me go,” she whispered.
Slowly, reluctantly, Willem forced his fingers to loosen, and pain ravaged his chest at the way Serenity so quickly yanked her hand out of his touch.
Once…once she had trusted him to guide her every step of the way.
But that was then, he thought dully, and it was his fault she no longer looked at him with stars in her eyes.
“I don’t ever want to talk about the past.”
Slowly, he nodded.
She swallowed hard. “And now – I want to know why you’re here.”
He said quietly, “Because I’ve realized, perhaps too late, that I have loved you from the very beginning.”
****
Serenity lay awake on her bed for hours.
No matter what she did, she could not forget what had happened, could not stop the same scene replaying over and over in her mind.
“You love me.” Her voice trembled.
The billionaire’s gaze didn’t waver from her face. “Yes. I love you.”
“From the very beginning.” Her voice caught.
“From the very beginning.” His tone was even, his face serious, and it had made her want to cry. It had made her want to laugh and scream. Oh God, it made her wish she were insane. Because then – maybe then it would hurt less.
“Do you know what you’re saying?” she demanded shakily. “After what you’ve done to me, after what you’ve made me do – you have the gall to come here and tell me you’ve loved me from the very beginning?”
“Yes.” His tone was unequivocal despite of the way he had grown white at her words.
“And you expect me to believe you, just like that?”
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.”
She shook her head. “There’s no need because I can tell you right now. I will never believe you.” She stood up, and so did he. “Thank you for your time, Mr. de Konigh, but I hope this is the last time we see each other again.”
A look of devastation flickered in his face before disappearing, so quickly that she told herself she had imagined it. And she had, she had, Serenity told herself.
“I don’t love him,” she whispered, but even to herself the words sounded like the lie that it was. Her throat tightened, and she could barely choke the words past her tears. “I don’t love him. I don’t. I don’t.”
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