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Collected Poems 1947-1997 - Ginsberg Allen - Страница 59


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59

                    secret recollective hidden

                              half-hand unrecorded way.

As the old sages of Asia, or the white beards of Persia

               scribbled on the margins of their scrolls

                    in delicate ink

     remembering with tears the ancient clockbells of their cities

               and the cities that had been—

               Nasca, Paracas, Chancay & Secrecy of the Priests

                         buried, Cat Gods

               of all colors, a funeral shroud

                              for a museum—

     None remember but all return to the same thought

               before they die—what sad old

          knowledge, we repeat again.

                              Only to be lost

     in the sands of Paracas, or wrapped in a mystic shroud

               of Poesy

          and found by some kid in a thousand years

               inspire what dreadful thoughts of his own?

It’s a horrible, lonely experience. And

     Gregory’s letter, and Peter’s …

7:30 P.M., May 28

… In the foul dregs of Circumstance

     ‘Male and Female He created them’

          with mustaches.

     There ARE certain REPEATED

     (pistol shot) reliable points

of reference which the insane

(pistol shot repeated outside

the window)—madman suddenly

writes—THE PISTOL SHOT

outside—the REPEATED situations

the experience of return to the

same place in Universal Creation

Time—and every time we return

we recognize again that we

HAVE been here & that is the

Key to Creation—the same pistol shot

—DOWN, bending over his book of Un

intelligible marvels with his mustache.

(my) Madness is intelligible reactions to

     Unintelligible phenomena.

               Boy—what a marvelous bottle,

          a clear glass sphere of transparent

                         liquid ether—

               (Chloraethyl Merz)

9 P.M.

   I know I am a poet—in this universe—but what good does that do —when in another, without these mechanical aids, I might be doomed to be a poor Disneyan Shoe Store Clerk—This consciousness an accident of one of the Ether-possible worlds, not the Final World

   Wherein we all look Crosseyed

& triumph in our Virginity

without wearing Rabbit’s-foot

     ears or eyes looking sideways

     strangely but in Gold

Humbled & more knowledgeable, acknowledge

the Vast mystery of our creation—

without giving any sign that

     we have heard from the

GREAT CREATOR

WHOSE NAME I NOW

PRONOUNCE:

GREAT CREATOR OF THE UNIVERS, IF

THY WISDOM ACCORD IT

AND IF THIS NOT BE TOO

MUCH TO ASK

MAY I PUBLISH YOUR NAME?

I ASK IN THE LIMA

NIGHT

FEARFULLY WAITING

ANSWER,

hearing the buses out on

the street hissing,

Knowing the Terror

     of the World Afar—

I have been playing with Jokes

and His is too mighty to hold

     in the hand like a Pen

and His is the Pistol Shot Answer

     that brings blood to the brain

And—

What can be possible

     in a minor universe

     in which you can see

     God by sniffing the

     gas in a cotton?

The answer to be taken in

     reverse & Doubled Math

     ematically both ways.

Am I a sinner?

There are hard & easy universes. This

          is neither.

(If I close my eyes will I regain consciousness?)

     That’s the Final Question—with

all the old churchbells ringing and

bus pickup snuffles & crack of iron

whips inside cylinders & squeal of brakes

and old crescendos of responsive

demiurgic ecstasy whispering in streets of ear

     —and when was it Not

     ever answered in the Affirmative? Saith the Lord?

A MAGIC UNIVERSE

Flies & crickets & the sound of buses & my

     stupid beard.

But what’s Magic?

Is there Sorrow in Magic?

Is Magic one of my boyscout creations?

Am I responsible? I with my flop?

Could Threat happen to Magic?

Yes! this the one universe in which

     there is threat to magic, by

     writing while high.

A Universe in which I am condemned to write statements.

‘Ignorant Judgments Create Mistaken Worlds—’

     and this one is joined in

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