Beyond The Blue Mountains - Plaidy Jean - Страница 18
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Fearfully she looked up at him. Now was the moment. Now. His lips were moving, though no sound came from them. She stared. Was that a glaze of tears in his eyes? It was incredible.
She had expected some crude remark: then she could have compared him with Darrell, have hated him, have said what she had prepared herself to say.
He murmured: “Kitty! It is the grandest news. We are going to have a family, Kitty!”
He threw off his sentimental mood. He was exuberant. He lifted her off her feet and gave her a great smacking kiss on the mouth.
Downstairs in the hall under the portraits of his ancestors he made the servants drink to the health of the child that was coming.
The children called her into the nursery.
“Jennifer is out for the afternoon!” whispered Charles.
“So you must come and tell us a story,” added Margaret.
They climbed over her and touched the brooch at her throat. George had given her that only the other day; he delighted in giving her things. He had changed in the last weeks, since he had known of the coming of the child. He gave her little glimpses into his inner nature, told her of how he had felt about Bess, and how he had suffered when she had left him. It was unlike the squire to talk of weakness in himself, but he was so pleased with his life, so enchanted by the prospect of their both being parents of the same child, that he let her peer now and then behind his defences. He was not a monster, after all; just a man, very human, full of hopes and desires and aspirations.
“You are our new mamma.” announced Margaret; and she and Charles laughed because it seemed so amusing to them that they should suddenly be presented with a new mamma.
“You see,” explained Charles, ‘until now Margaret never had a mamma at all. and I only had one for a very little time.”
“Jennifer says you’re not a real mamma.”
“She says you’re a stepmamma!”
They watched her from under their eyelashes. Jennifer had said stepmammas hated their stepchildren, beat them and made faces at them in the dark.
They could not talk of these things, but they were there between them and their desire to love Kitty. For minutes at a time they forgot them though. They showed her their picture books and toys. They had opened Jennifer’s cupboard, when Jennifer came in. Kitty actually had the love potion in her hand when the door opened.
Jennifer stiffened, and her face went dark red with hatred.
“Good afternoon, Jennifer,“said Kitty.
Jennifer said: “Good afternoon. Madam.”
It was Kitty who apologized.
“The children so wanted to show me round…”
“And you so wanted to see. Madam. I quite understand that.” She was staring at the bottle and her rage got the better of her.
“And you wanted to see what was in my private cupboard, so you…”
“Not at all,” said Kitty with dignity.
“I did not know this was your cupboard. The children showed me …”
The children stood awestruck, aware that this was a battle between two powerful grownups.
“My own possessions are private. Madam; I will thank you not to pry into them.” Kitty’s temper flared up.
“You are insolent,” she said, ‘and I will not tolerate that. You shall go at once!” Jennifer retorted: “Perhaps you will speak to the squire about that… I myself will speak to him.”
Kitty was really angry now. She had not sought this opportunity, but now that it had come she would take it.
“You may pack and go at once.” she said.
“I shall myself tell the squire that I have dismissed you.” How insolently the woman stared. Knowledgeably? What did she mean…? Could she know…?
Kitty began to feel very frightened. She was dizzy with fear; the room swayed; she clutched at the bureau. One of the children began to cry. Kitty saw Jennifer’s face close to hers, and Jennifer was smiling; her cunning black eyes were like monkeys’ eyes. Jennifer’s arms were strong about.
When Kitty opened her eyes, she was lying on the sofa and Jennifer was kneeling beside her, holding hartshorn under her nose. The children were not there.
Jennifer said: “Madam should be more careful … her condition… I had not thought that it would be possible for Madam to be so far gone in pregnancy! The greatest care must be taken Kitty managed to get to her feet.
“I am all right now.”
“Oh, yes, Madam, you are all right now. It was just a little faint … so natural really. But Madam must take care…”
That will do,” said Kitty.
“And do not forget you are to pack your bags and go at once!”
Jennifer’s eyes were downcast, but her mouth mocked. Kitty went unsteadily to the door. In her bedroom she bathed her face; her hands were hot and clammy, for she knew now that the moment had come. She prayed silently to her mother: “Mother, what shall I do now? What can I do now?”
She thought of the new tenderness which had sprung up in the squire. Words came into her mind.
“We loved each other; we were going to marry. It seemed so safe, so right. He was always so careful of me, so eager that I should not suffer any hardship. Do not be cruel to me now. If you will only help me I will try to love you.”
It seemed to her that she stayed in her room for hours … waiting.
She heard his horse’s hoofs in the courtyard. It was some time before he came into the room, and she knew, as soon as she saw him, that Jennifer had waylaid him, had spoken to him. His big eyes bulged and there was a knotted vein on his forehead. Fearful as she was, it occurred to her that he was both like a dog that had received a whipping and an enraged bull.
His eyes searched her face, and his hands moved as though they would tear her secret from her.
There was no need; she would tell him now.
He stood before her, and she was aware of his hands again; now they were hanging limply at his sides.
He said: “What’s this I am hearing? What’s this that girl is saying? By God…”
And he wanted her to deny it, and he wanted to send Jennifer from his house; he wanted her to lie to him… anything so that he need not believe these suggestions of Jennifer’s. He could still hear her voice, soft and insinuating: “I think I should tell you… Madam fainted clean away in the nursery this afternoon. She must take greater care of herself. I feel and I am no fool in these matters that she is farther advanced in pregnancy than it seems possible to believe …” The fury that had surged up in him! He had gripped the girl’s shoulder and glared down into her impudent face.
“Do not be angry with me. Is it my fault that she should use you so cunningly because her lover has deserted her?” Jennifer’s eyes were full of the light of battle. She had been told by the mistress of the house to pack her bags, and if she did that and went away she would have lost everything she had fought for; but here was a chance of regaining a good deal. She was bold therefore; and she even laughed when he brought up his great hand and hit her on the side of her head so that she fell to the floor.
And well she might laugh, for he was a fool indeed. He had only to look into Kitty’s eyes to see what a fool, for her guilt was there and she made no attempt to hide it. What was this she was saying? He could not hear properly because his blood was pounding on his eardrums, but he grasped its import.
“We loved each other. It was so right… And then the press gang took him from me … We should have been so happy …” He shrieked at her: “I’ll kill you for this!” And he would have killed her if he had not felt so miserably brokenhearted.
She said: “Please, George … I was wrong … I was wicked. But I will try, if only… There is the little baby to think of…”
He pushed her from him, and she fell onto the bed and lay there staring up at the terrible line of his mouth and the red tinge in what should have been the whites of his eyes.
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