The Good Neighbor - Bettes Kimberley A. - Страница 32
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Owen was doing all he could to protect me. I did feel safer with him. We’d grown so close in such a short time. Add to that the trauma we’d suffered through together and we were inseparable. I knew that it wasn’t good to be so dependent on Owen. He wouldn’t always be around, that was impossible. And I’d never been one of those women who had to have a man to live.
So, I knew as we sat on his porch that I would have to do something in order to regain control of my life. I wanted my strength back. I wanted my security and independence back. I couldn’t hide out at Owen’s house forever. And it was totally unfair to expect him to keep a constant watch over me.
I listened as he talked about some of the buildings his construction company had built, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking of other things.
I thought of going home. What would it be like sleeping in my bed the first night? Would I get any sleep at all? If I did, would my sleep be plagued my memories in the form of nightmares of Bernie? Would I be expecting him to return? Would the thought of him coming back leave me unable to concentrate on anything else?
I didn’t know if Bernie was planning to do any more harm to me. After all, he’d succeeded in raping me. Isn’t that what he was after? Surely that would satisfy his depraved craving. Wouldn’t it?
I wondered if Owen would let me go home. I figured he’d try to talk me into staying with him a while longer. But I had to go home sometime, and to me, the sooner the better. If I dealt with it all right away, I’d be fine. If I hid out at Owen’s and let the wounds fester, it would be nearly impossible for me to deal with it.
After he finished talking, I brought the subject up to him about me leaving.
His face showed his concern. “Are you sure about that? I mean, it’s so soon. Shouldn’t you stay here for a while?”
I told him that it was better to go while it was fresh. I’d always dealt with things this way. Quickly.
He sighed. “Maybe I should stay with you for a couple of nights.” I saw the worry in his eyes. He was so afraid something would happen to me and he wouldn’t be there. I felt bad for him. Carrying around such a burden must be difficult.
“Owen, I don’t mind if you stay with me. But, you aren’t always going to be able to be there. At some point, I have to be alone. Wouldn’t it be better if it was now?”
He thought about it for a minute. He squeezed my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. “Okay. You’re right.”
I thought he had given in a little too easily. It didn’t matter, though. He seemed to have seen things my way.
After the kids had eaten breakfast, we walked home. Owen, of course, walked on my right side, keeping himself between Bernie’s house and me.
I didn’t even look in Bernie’s direction until we crossed the street in front of my house. It was a quick glance. I didn’t want to seem inviting if he was looking. It was so quick I wasn’t sure Owen had noticed.
Ethan and Shelby were happy to be home, though it hadn’t been home for long. This is where their toys were, and they rushed upstairs to play with them.
I saw Owen’s worry as they ran up the stairs. I knew he wanted to check the house and make sure Bernie wasn’t lurking somewhere. I smiled at him and told him to go ahead and check, though I was confident he would find nothing.
Finding nothing, Owen came to the living room where I sat in a chair waiting for him. He squatted in front of me, one hand on each of my knees. I leaned forward in the chair. His face was now only a couple of inches from mine. Funny how that could still make my heart beat faster even after all that had happened.
“Well?” I asked.
“It’s safe. For now.”
“What do you mean ‘for now’?”
“Well, you don’t think I’m going to leave you here with that back door like that, do you?” He grinned at me and shook his head. Without standing, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and made a phone call. He called his company and made some immediate requests for a new back door and a couple of men to do the job.
I didn’t protest. It was wise to replace the weak point of entry. I wanted no repeats of the previous events.
After returning the phone to his pocket and kissing me passionately, Owen went through the house making sure every window and door had a working lock. He pushed and pulled and banged, making sure all was well.
Then, he put in a call for a home security system. I thought that was a bit much, but I still held my tongue. I knew that it was the smart thing to do. It felt excessive, but necessary.
And that’s how the day went. Owen helped the carpenter install the door. I watched the alarm system being installed, and memorized the instructions to go with it. The kids played with their toys, pausing only when Jill brought over lunch. She was trying to keep herself busy as well, I suppose. She made hamburgers, hot dogs and coleslaw. We all gathered in the kitchen while we ate, with many conversations happening at the same time. The kids talked toys, the men talked tools, and Jill and I talked house. It was hectic, but I loved it.
I was thankful for the chaos of the day. It made coming back to the house easier for me.
That didn’t mean that when I went to bed it would be as easy. But I’d just have to deal with that later. Right now, I just wanted to live in the moment. I wanted to appreciate my great kids, my new friend, and my boyfriend.
At the end of the day, with everyone gone except Owen, I expected him to ask if I minded if he stayed. I wanted him to stay, but I needed to do this myself. If I could make it through the first night, I could make it through all the nights to come. I enjoyed being able to depend on him, but I didn’t want to have to.
He left. I was surprised. I went to bed alone. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe it was because what happened at Owen’s house was worse than what happened here.
True, when I first walked into my bedroom, the image of Bernie hunched over my bed spewing forth his filth crossed my mind. But I quickly pushed the image away and went about getting ready for bed. He was not going to ruin this for me. Going to bed here or at Owen’s was not going to be a problem because of Bernie. I wouldn’t let it.
55 Owen
I sat on the porch, keeping my eye on Bernie’s house. It was a constant struggle to keep from walking over there, busting through his front door, and making him sorry he ever laid eyes on Carla. That’s what I wanted to do. It’s what I’d wanted to do since the bastard ran out of my house naked. But I didn’t. I knew Carla didn’t want me to, but I wasn’t sure why. I would’ve thought that was exactly what she would want, but I was wrong. I knew nothing about women. I doubted I ever would.
She hadn’t wanted me to stay with her tonight, which was killing me. I didn’t take it personally. Her reasoning made perfect sense. For her. Not for me. For me, I needed to hold her and have her in my line of sight so I could know without a doubt that she was safe from the likes of Bernie.
So to give us both what we needed, I left her alone and kept watch over her from my porch. She had no idea I was doing this, but it was the only way to give us both what we needed.
In keeping watch over Carla, I was also watching out for Jill. With Andy away, she was alone. Bernie would surely know that he had no chance of getting at Carla again. Knowing that, he might just turn his sights on Jill. Especially if he’d been watching as Andy left with a suitcase. I really didn’t think Bernie was as ignorant as I’d first thought him to be. It appeared that he paid far more attention to things going on around him than I’d originally thought. I would never again make a mistake in assuming Bernie to be anything other than dangerous.
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