Outback bride - Hart Jessica - Страница 18
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‘It was different then,’ she said with a touch of desperation. ‘We’re different. You hadn’t been married then; I hadn’t met Glyn. It can’t ever be the same as it was then.’
Mal’s eyes flickered at the mention of Glyn. ‘I’m not saying it would be the same,’ he said a little impatiently. ‘I’m just suggesting that since we’re going to be sharing a bed for three years we should enjoy a physical as well as a business relationship, but it’s entirely up to you. I won’t lay a finger on you in private unless invited. All you have to do is ask
nicely, of course!’
Copper tensed at the undercurrent of mockery in his voice. ‘Will I have to put in a formal request?’ she snapped, wishing she had never raised the subject in the first place.
‘I’m sure you’ll know just what to say if the occasion arises,’ said Mal, but when she only scowled at the horses standing companionably nose to tail in the shade, he sighed. ‘Look, I can see you don’t like the idea. Fine. I respect that. We can even put it in the contract, if that makes you feel any better. As far as I’m concerned, the matter’s closed, but if you change your mind, you only have to say so. Until you do, there’s no need for you to feel nervous about climbing into bed beside me. Is that clear enough for you?’
‘Yes,’ said Copper stiltedly. ‘Thank you.’ Mal’s assurance that he wouldn’t touch her unless she asked should have been reassuring, but somehow it only made her feel worse. She could hardly object to his willingness to make the choice hers, but he hadn’t sounded as if he cared much one way or the other. Did he really expect her to coolly ask him to make love to her?
Copper tried to imagine herself putting in a casual request. Oh, by the way, Mal, I want you to make love to me tonight. Or maybe he had an unspoken invitation in mind? Perhaps he expected her to roll over to his side of the bed and trail her fingers suggestively over his body?
And what would Mal do then? He hadn’t exactly fallen over himself to persuade her that they would be as good together as they had been before. He might sigh and shake her off, or-worse-turn over with a martyred air and apply himself to the tedious business of satisfying her. Copper burned with humiliation at the thought. She would never be able to do it! But how could she spend three years sleeping beside him and never touching him while their memories made a taunting third in the bed?
‘So,’ said Mal, settling his hat on his head as he straightened. ‘Do we have a deal?’
Three years keeping house or driving home to tell her father that she had failed him again? Three years with Mal or the rest of her life without him? ‘Yes,’ she said after a.tiny pause. ‘We have a deal.’
Mal hadn’t missed that moment of hesitation. ‘Your business must mean a lot to you,’ he commented with a sardonic look, and she knew that he was thinking of Lisa, who had also put business first.
Well, what did it matter if he thought she was just like his wife? Wasn’t that better than letting him know that she was afraid of the treacherous clamour of her own body more than anything he might do? ‘It does,’ she said, gathering the vestiges of her pride around her and with only a trace of huskiness in her voice. ‘I would hardly have agreed to marry you if it didn’t, would I?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I suppose you wouldn’t.’
Another painful pause. Couldn’t he see how desperate she was for reassurance? Why couldn’t he put his arms around her and tell her that everything would work out all right? How could he just stand there and look like that when all she wanted was to take two steps and burrow into his hard strength?
‘Come on,’ said Mal, suddenly brusque. He took off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair and then put it back on. ‘There’s no point in standing here all evening.’
They turned and began walking along the track in the direction of the homestead, keeping a careful distance between them. Mal walked with a kind of loose-jointed ease, so tall and strong that the impulse to scuttle over and clamp herself to his side like iron to a magnet was almost irresistible. Copper felt as if she was having to lean away from him in order to walk upright at all.
‘When shall we get married?’ she asked with a brittle smile, as much to distract herself as anything else.
‘The sooner the better, as far as I’m concerned,’ said Mal. ‘You don’t want to make a fuss about the wedding, do you?’
‘I wouldn’t if it was up to me, but I’m going to have to convince my parents that we’re marrying for love, and I think a proper wedding would help. We can keep it small, of course, but they would think it looked suspicious if I didn’t get married from home.’
‘I suppose it would be more convincing,’ he admitted without enthusiasm. ‘You’re not thinking of long white dresses and veils or anything like that, are you?’
‘Of course not.’ Copper gritted her teeth at his lack of interest. ‘I’m sure I’ll be able to find something appropriate to wear. Megan might like to be a bridesmaid, too. I’m just talking about going through the motions, that’s all.’
‘Well, I’ll leave that side of it up to you,’ said Mal casually. ‘Just tell me when and where I have to turn up.’
‘It’s nice to know that our wedding is going to mean so much to you,’ she said with heavy sarcasm. ‘Nobody’s going to think that our marriage is genuine if that’s going to be your attitude!’
‘Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be suitably loving when required,’ he promised.
Copper glanced at him and then away. The sky was flushed with an unearthly pink light as the sun dropped behind the ghost gums lining the creek. ‘Do you think anyone will believe that we’re really getting married?’ she asked abruptly, as if the words had been forced out of her.
“Why shouldn’t they?’
‘Well
I’ve only been up here two weeks. It might all seem a bit sudden.’
‘We’ll just have to persuade them that we fell in love at first sight, then, won’t we?’
We did before. Mal didn’t actually say it, but the words hung unspoken in the air between them. They seemed to whisper down Copper’s spine and echo in her brain, and in spite of herself a slow, hot flush seeped upwards from her toes.
‘Brett’s not going to believe that,’ she said, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on the sunset. ‘He’s been with us all the time and he must know quite well that we haven’t fallen in love. I even told him so the other night.’
‘I remember,’ said Mal in a dry voice. ‘But he didn’t believe you. He told me that you were protesting too much.’
Copper stopped dead in the middle of the track. ‘Oh, did he?’ she said wrathfully.
‘Judging by the remarks he was dropping after we’d spent so long in the office that evening, I’d say that he’s almost expecting it,’ Mal went on calmly. ‘All you need to do is go in now looking as if you’ve just been thoroughly kissed.’
‘And how am I supposed to do that?’ demanded Copper, distinctly ruffled. ‘It’s not that easy!’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’ Mal’s eyes lit with a sudden speculative gleam and he reached out with one hand, letting his fingers drift tantalisingly down her cheek to curve below her jaw and slide beneath her soft hair. ‘I don’t think it should be that difficult.’
Copper’s heart stilled and she forgot to breathe. She had emptied of awkwardness, of anger, of any feeling at all except the deep, low thrill that went through her in response to his touch, so that instead of stepping back, or pushing his hand away, she could only stand, her eyes wide and unfocused with a terrible longing. And when Mal put out his other hand to draw her slowly towards him, she went, unresisting.
‘In my experience, the simplest solution is usually the best,’ he murmured. ‘And the simplest way to look kissed is to be kissed,’ he added very softly, and then, bending his head, he kissed her at last.
At the first touch of his mouth, a tiny sigh of release escaped Copper, and her lips parted as past and present arrowed into a piercing recognition that this was what she had thought about ever since Mal had walked around the woolshed and back into her life. It was like coming home. His tongue was so enticing, his lips as warm and persuasive as she remembered, but this time the unbearable sweetness that had lingered in her memory for seven long years was swamped almost at once by a great, rolling wave of explosive excitement that caught her unprepared and swept her up into a turbulent tide of desire.
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