Gold - Linde K. A. - Страница 43
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“I thought you knew.”
“No!” she shrieked. “No, I never fucking knew.”
He reached for her, and she backed away.
“Don’t touch me.”
His hands went into his soaked hair, and he turned his face up to the sky. He let loose a primal growl. When he met her eyes again, he looked determined, focused. “You said you wanted a guy who could take care of you and that we would never fucking happen. You said that you would never be comfortable dating me or any guy.”
“I was comfortable because you were a nonthreat! You were gay!”
“Fuck!” he cried. “I backed off because I didn’t want to scare you. I wasn’t sure what was happening or if you were really the person I wanted. Everything was just happening, and then you ground it to a stop.”
Everything seemed to become crystal clear. The reason he had been pissed about her kissing him in front of Audrey. The consequences to her actions for that night. The way he’d seemed to notice her but kept his distance.
Fuck, I’ve been blind. Horribly blind.
“Why are you so angry anyway?” he asked, stepping closer to her. “Why did you break that bottle, looking ready to murder someone?”
“I am shocked!”
“Don’t lie to me!” he yelled at her. “Tell me why.”
He moved into her space until she was leaning against the hood of the car. Rain still poured down between them.
“Tell me.”
“No!” she yelled. She pushed against his chiseled chest, wanting desperately to keep herself together.
“Tell me the truth, Bri.” He stared at her. “Tell me it’s because you want me.”
“No.” She defiantly shook her head from side to side as her heart beat in time to the rain.
“Well, I can’t keep lying. You might be able to pretend, but I can’t.”
“This is insane! You were the one upstairs, bending some bitch over your bed!” she spat at him.
“I was ending things with Audrey tonight!”
“It sure as hell didn’t look like it!”
“I couldn’t do it anymore. I was ending it, and then I was going to tell you the truth, whether or not you wanted to give up the bullshit. I can’t pretend anymore. I don’t know what the fuck this is, but I’ve wanted to do this for too damn long without any excuses in our way.”
“Do what?” she screamed. Her lungs felt raw.
She was so angry, and he looked furious.
Then, he pushed himself against her, buried his hands into her soaking wet hair, and kissed her lips with all the pent-up sexual tension coursing between them. She beat against his chest as he demanded a reaction from her. She hit him twice more, and then her mind seemed to forget why she was resisting. She didn’t want this to stop. Slowly, she relented into his kisses.
Water poured down their faces, mingling with their kiss. She moaned against his mouth, and their tongues met in perfect unison. This was their third kiss, but for the first time, she truly savored him. He tasted like pure heaven. A touch of everything that was right in her life. He pushed her arms up around his neck and covered her body with his own. They molded together, both soaked through.
A bolt of lightning tore through the sky in the distance, and thunder crashed overhead. They both jolted at the interruption. Eric glanced up at the sky and then back down at Bryna. His smile was one of pure joy. Like he wouldn’t want to do anything else or be anywhere else in that moment.
His lips were on hers again. Harder. More desperate. Seeking out the one thing that she couldn’t give to anyone. Yet it was perfection. Every nerve in her body was attuned to his touch.
This was what she had always been missing.
Yet her emotions roiled through her body. How can he kiss me like this after he’d had his dick in some other girl? If he had wanted to be with Bryna, he’d had a million opportunities to tell her the truth. Yeah, she had said she wasn’t comfortable with him, but then when she was comfortable, he could have told her the truth. The truth was at his fingertips at every opportunity. He couldn’t pull this bullshit because she had caught him with his ex. She couldn’t pull a one-eighty on her life when there was so much fucking uncertainty.
Bryna wrenched out of his grasp. He gave her a questioning look, and then she reached back and slapped him clear across the face. His head snapped to the side, and he ground his teeth.
“Don’t touch me,” she repeated. Her voice was hoarse. She held the tears back with the force from her will alone.
Eric staggered a step back in shock. She used that opportunity to grab the handle of the door, and she pulled it back open.
“Bryna, please,” he begged. “Don’t go. Let’s try to work it out.”
“What is there to work out? You said it yourself. We both know this is never happening, and you’re going to regret this in the morning.” She threw his words back in his face.
“Let me explain,” he pleaded.
She couldn’t let him. Even if she wanted to listen and make things work, she couldn’t. It would never work between them. The last six months of their relationship, the supposed ease of their friendship, was all a lie. One big lie.
“You’ve explained enough.”
She sat down in the driver’s seat and then pulled out of his driveway. Her heart was beating a million miles a minute. It wasn’t until she was around the corner that she let the tears fall freely. Once they started, she couldn’t get them to stop.
BRYNA PULLED OVER TO THE SIDE of the road and parked her car. Shuddering deep sobs wracked her body. She had no idea she could even cry like this, that tears could even flow so freely. Her heart of ice had cracked, shattered, melted, and it was currently sitting in a puddle at her feet.
She didn’t even know what she was feeling. She was so angry with Eric for sleeping with Audrey, for being with her all this time. Yet she was angry with herself for being angry with him. She had been with someone else this whole time, too, but he had known. She had never kept Hugh a secret from Eric. She hadn’t kept anything a secret from Eric.
It was all even more fucked up because Eric had thought she had known all along about Audrey. And they had both kept their distance because of one stupid fucking night at Posse when she had been a mess about Jude, and Gates had pushed her and Eric apart.
Part of her wanted so desperately to turn the car around and go back to him. But the other part kept replaying the image of him fucking Audrey in his bedroom over and over again. How can I get over that?
“Why?” she whispered helplessly into the silent car.
For over a year, she had worked under the assumption that he was gay. She had opened herself up to him, only to have a wall slide back over her heart. Even though she had deceived herself, she still thought it was Eric’s fault. If he was falling for her, he should have said something. She couldn’t listen to her own heart telling her she had fallen for him.
Her hands were still shaking when the tears finally dried up. The rain was slowing to a drizzle. She forced herself to start driving again. She needed to get away and process.
Pulling out her cell phone, she ignored the missed call from Eric and dialed Hugh’s number.
“Hey,” Hugh said.
“Hey.” She thought her voice was strong, but she still sounded weak and vulnerable. She hated Eric for making her like this. It went against her nature.
“Are you okay?”
“I just…need you.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“I’m working out of town. Is it urgent? Are you hurt?”
Only emotionally. “No.”
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