Down London Road - Young Samantha - Страница 46
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I chewed my lip, taking far too long to think it over.
‘Jesus, Johanna.’ He pulled back before I had a chance to say anything, his eyebrows dipped in anger. ‘I’m not bloody them.’ He threw the sheets off of us as he moved to leave the bed.
Dammit! ‘I’m just worried,’ I huffed, feeling my cheeks heat at the coming confession.
Cam grew still, twisting his head to look at me over his shoulder. ‘Go on.’
I made a face at his bossiness and sat up, drawing my knees to my chest in a subconscious need to protect myself. ‘I’m worried you’ll get bored with the fact that I can’t … accommodate you. Because I have Cole and’ – I braced myself, wondering how he’d react to my next piece of brutal honesty – ‘he’ll always come first.’
In seconds I was flat on my back, Cam looking down at me, his eyes soft again, and better yet, they were filled with understanding. ‘You never have to worry about that. I get it. I understand. Cole comes first. Of course he does. He’s a bloody kid who needs you. I’m not going to get bored or pissed off. And frankly if I do, you should dump my ass.’
Something shifted in my chest, something huge and overwhelming and scary. That something was my feelings for Cam. They were settled inside me now, held in place by an immovable anchor. ‘Are you for real?’ I asked, giving him a weak smile, trying to cover how emotional I felt.
Cam smiled back at me as he placed a soft kiss on my mouth. ‘Completely real, baby. But if you need proof …’ He pressed his knee between my legs, nudging them open, the wicked look in his eyes telling me I wasn’t going anywhere just yet.
After everything Cole and I had been through, it was almost difficult allowing myself to feel this happy. I was high on Cameron MacCabe, and although most of me loved it, this small part of me, the small part that couldn’t let go of the past, was terrified by it. Fortunately for us both, I’d watched Joss almost destroy her relationship with Braden over that exact thing, and I had no wish to follow in her footsteps. It was only two days in, and I was guessing it would take a small miracle to make me walk away from Tattoo Guy.
What it would take for him to walk away was a different story, but I was determined to try to kill that kind of negative thinking before it spoiled everything for me. I was also resolved not to rock the boat, so when Malcolm texted me on Monday morning while I was at work, I didn’t tell Cam.
So of course I also didn’t tell him that I texted Malcolm back.
Malcolm had proved himself to be a good guy. A gentleman. A friend. It didn’t matter if he’d found solace in the arms of Becca. All that mattered was that he’d been kind to me when we were together. I wasn’t sure I was ready to lose that, so when he asked if I was okay, I told him I was. I apologized again, and I asked him how he was.
I’ll be fine, sweetheart. I miss you. I’m glad we can still talk. x
There was no measuring my feelings of guilt when I read that text.
Friends?
Of course. Let me know if you need anything. I hope you’re happy, Jo. x
Cut me to the quick.
Yeah. You too. x
Cam may or may not have been okay with Malcolm texting me, but I thought it was too soon to broach that subject, especially after the night before and my little confession and all its drama.
I saw him later before he had to go to work and I didn’t say a word.
Tuesday night was our first night working together as a couple. We agreed at the outset that we wouldn’t curb our flirtations with customers, since that increased our tips. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but it made sense for us both. Tuesday night was one of the quietest nights we’d ever had. No flirtations, no incidents.
Thursday night was a little different.
It started off with Phil working the door.
Just as he had done Tuesday night, Cam held my hand all the way to work and all the way into the club when we got to work. He led us down the stairs to the entrance, his warm hand tight in mine, and the first thing we heard was, ‘You’re with this idiot now, eh? I’ve got more money than him.’
While Phil thought this was funny, I tried desperately to ignore the hurt.
My hand slipped out of Cam’s and with a small smile at Brian, I went on into the club, Cam’s harsh voice echoing down the hall as he growled at Phil. ‘You. Watch it.’
I didn’t wait for Phil’s reply. Sufficiently pissed off, I hurried past Joss, ignoring her greeting.
‘What’s wrong?’ she called after me, her light footsteps following mine into the staff room.
Shrugging out of my coat, I tried to turn the seething down to a simmer.
‘Jo?’
‘You can blame Cam,’ I replied sourly.
‘What did I do?’ Cam marched into the staff room, heading for his locker. His expression was as dark as mine as he turned to face me. Joss sidled up next to him, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.
I glared at them both. ‘You were right before.’ I directed my words at Joss. ‘I let people think the worst of me. And I could handle it. But Tattoo Guy came along and told me to ask more of myself, and suddenly snide comments from people I thought liked me – but it turns out they thought exactly what you said they thought of me – hurt me. So, thanks, Cam. Now I’m a bloody walking open wound.’
There were a number of appropriate responses to my rant. Joss grinning at Cam and then smacking him heartily on the back was not one of them. ‘You are my new favourite person.’
I gave points to Cam for looking at her like she was nuts. I gave him some more for pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, finding the feel of his hard, solid, safe body soothing. I breathed him in and snuggled deeper when his arms tightened around me.
‘Why all the long faces? This is good news,’ Joss insisted, completely serious.
Moving my chin so I could rest it on Cam’s shoulder and glare at her, I warned, ‘I am this close to ending our friendship.’
Nowhere near intimidated by my threats, Joss’s expression turned mulish. ‘I’m sorry someone hurt you. Point me in their direction and I’ll give them a beatdown they won’t forget in a hurry. But this is good, Jo. Cam has done what I’ve been trying to do for a year. He woke you up.’
Cam pulled back, smirking at her. ‘That’s a little cheesy, Joss.’
It was like he’d told her she’d stepped in dog poo. Her nose wrinkled and she shuddered, a look of absolute self-disgust falling over her pretty features. ‘I have got to stop letting Ellie choose what we watch on movie night. It’s causing me to acclimatize to heartfelt emotion.’ She turned on her heel, muttering something under her breath about Jason Bourne.
‘Nicely done,’ I murmured to Cam, impressed at the way he’d so easily dispatched Joss. His lips brushed my cheek in response and I turned to look into his eyes. ‘You sure you want to be seen with a girl everyone thinks of as one step above a paid escort?’
It was clearly the wrong thing to say, as evidenced by the tic of the muscle in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. He gripped my chin so I couldn’t look away. ‘Don’t. Don’t even consider thinking of yourself in those terms. And don’t ask me stupid questions. If anyone ever says anything like that to you … tell me. They’ll not be saying it for long.’
Cam had gone all alpha male on me but I wasn’t even processing it. Despite his portrayal of the overprotective boyfriend, I couldn’t forget that only weeks before, he’d accused me of the same thing Phil had. I wanted to forget. I really thought I had. But it seemed it was still there, niggling away at me under layers of denial.
Eyes dimming of their anger, mouth slackening to exasperation, Cam sighed as he let go of me. ‘Is this about me? About before?’
I shrugged, not wanting to lie outright.
‘Are you ever really going to forgive me for what I said when we met?’
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