Perfection - Mathewson R. L. - Страница 56
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At first she'd been a little confused to find herself in Trevor's bed, but the dull pain in her head and the memory of what happened in the emergency room helped her wake up pretty damn quickly. Although she had absolutely no idea in hell what she was going to do, she knew she wanted to figure things out privately in her own apartment where she could freak out and this was definitely a moment to freak out.
What the hell was she going to do now? she wondered, worrying her bottom lip. She was in a nonexistent relationship, well, was. That was over so she'd probably have to move out soon and that would take up a chunk of the money she'd saved. Thank god she hadn't gone through with her vacation plans because then she'd really be screwed, even more that is.
At least she had a good paying job and health insurance for a little while longer, but once the babies came she couldn't really expect Jared to hold her job for her, especially since she'd probably be out of commission for quite some time.
Twins.
When she messed up, she really messed up. Instead of just getting knocked up she really got knocked up. She was either going to end up living in her car, which was barely running these days or be stuck on welfare and that was a dead end she refused to go. She wasn't going to end up like her mother and her kids were not going to end up in foster care because she had no choice.
No matter what she would not be losing her babies, she decided as she pressed a hand to her stomach, whishing she could feel some kind of proof that they were really there. It would be nice to feel some kind of connection to her babies so she could draw strength from them to do what she needed to do. She'd tell Trevor about them, but she wasn't expecting much from him as far as she was concerned.
Oh, she knew he'd take care of the babies and they'd never want for anything, but she wasn't so sure she'd survive being forced to see him every time he came to see the babies and she knew damn well the man wouldn't be able to stay away from his children. She would never stop him, but when he started to date again or god help her, decided to get married it would kill her.
There were a lot of things she knew she could force herself to survive, but seeing Trevor with another woman wasn't going to be one of them. It would be too difficult knowing that she'd never be good enough to be the woman that Trevor wanted. She'd always be the plain woman that he'd slummed with and got pregnant.
"But I did find a can of chicken noodle soup in the kitchen so we're in luck," Trevor said, oblivious to her pathetic musings as he lifted the cover off the tray.
Zoe opened her mouth to tell him that she wasn't hungry and that she was leaving when the aroma of chicken broth hit her hard. Gagging, she covered her mouth with both hands as she struggled to get away from the tray.
Thankfully Trevor had the good sense to grab the tray and rush it out of the room so that she could run to the bathroom. She stumbled towards the bathroom, praying she wouldn't have a repeat of the other day and quickly made it to the bathroom where she dry heaved for a minute before her stomach finally gave up.
After using the bathroom and brushing her teeth, because she felt pretty gross, she decided it was time to go home.
"I'm sorry, baby. I should have given you your pill before you tried to eat," Trevor said, walking into the bathroom, carrying a glass in one hand and a small pile of pills in the other.
He handed the pills over to her. "The small one is your nausea pill. The doctor said that should take care of it, but if it doesn't your doctor can give you a stronger prescription when you see him on Monday."
She didn't need to ask him what the other pills were for since she remembered the doctor telling her that he was sending her home with some low dose pain killers that were safe for the babies and prenatal vitamins. Needing a moment, she took the pills and swallowed them.
"Thank you," she said, feeling a little nervous as she handed him the glass.
The silence that followed was a bit awkward and telling. Worrying her bottom lip, she looked up and met his eyes. "You know, don't you?"
"That you're carrying my love child?" he asked, smiling softly. "Yes."
"Oh," she said, wishing they didn't have to have this conversation right now, but there really was no point in putting it off. "Then you know that this doesn't change anything, don't you?"
"I know," he said, shrugging it off like it was no big deal and gently ushering her to the side of the decent size bathroom.
Weren't guys usually more upset about this kind of thing? she wondered as she watched him start the shower.
"You're not upset?" she asked, wondering if maybe she'd imagined the whole thing. The idea upset her. She may not have known about the babies for very long, but she wanted them. It would be nice to finally have someone to belong to.
"Upset?" he asked, throwing her a frown over his shoulder. "Why would I be upset?"
"Because we're having a baby," she said slowly, wondering if maybe he'd suffered a head injury while she'd been out. It was possible. There was a lot of ice on the ground after all. Maybe while he was walking outside with the dogs he-
"I'm hoping for a girl," he announced the same way he'd ask her for extra snacks in his lunch.
"A girl?" she asked, not because she didn't love the idea of having a little baby girl to buy pretty pink things for, but because she was actually getting a little nervous here. Never in a million years would she have imagined the man who didn't want a real relationship with her to be happy having a child with her, a child that would bind them for life.
"Yeah, I kind of like the idea of having a little girl to spoil," he admitted with a careless shrug. "I'll even let you name her," he offered magnanimously. "But if it's a boy I'm naming it," he said, shooting her a look of warning. It was the same one he shot her when she wanted to name Max, Percival so that she could call him Percy.
"Gee, that's really generous of you," she said dryly.
"I know," he said breezily, making her roll her eyes. The man was nothing if not arrogant. She watched as he yanked off his tee-shirt and tossed it in the hamper and thought that a shower was a pretty good idea, especially since she'd worn the same shirt for two days.
She looked down at her shirt and frowned. "Um, what happened to my Red Sox tee shirt?" she asked as she looked down at Trevor's favorite Yankees tee-shirt.
"Oh, we burned that."
"You burned my shirt?" she practically shrieked. She'd loved that shirt. It was really cute with its bubbled lettering and cartoony baseball.
"Uh huh, we even took a vote."
"You voted to burn my shirt?"
"Yup."
"Seriously?" she asked, wondering if he was kidding.
"It was a real family bonding moment. There were tears and hugs and everything."
"But I loved that shirt. It was cute," she said, knowing she was pouting, but she really couldn't help it.
"That one's cuter," he said, pointing at the shirt she was wearing.
"Not really." And it wasn't. There were no bubbly letters or cartoonish-like drawings on this shirt. It had a big Y over an equally big N. How exactly was that cute?
"Well, we'll get the baby a few Yankees onesies and I'm sure you'll at least find those cute," he said, yanking his pants off.
"Actually I was planning on getting the this cute little pink Red Sox uniform I saw-"
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