Arsen: a broken love story - Asher Mia - Страница 8
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Excitement.
I don’t know what to do or say, so I turn to look at Mrs. Radcliff to see if she’s watching us. But she’s not. With her head lowered, I can see that she’s texting someone. I try to move away from Arsen and his mouth when his hand is suddenly on my knee. His large hand manages to cover my entire knee and then some. “Why are you afraid of me? I don’t bite unless you want me to. And if you do…”
I clear my throat and gently but firmly remove his hand from my knee. I don’t know this guy, and he should not be touching me like this at all.
Meanwhile, ignoring the part of me, of my body, that enjoyed his touch.
Trying to think of Ben, I look at Arsen, about to say something cutting to put him in his place, but I stop short. Instead, I watch as he brings the pinky finger that was touching my leg not a minute ago to his mouth and slowly lets his tongue trace it. Somehow, I get the impression that he can taste me. My throat dry, I can’t deny how erotic I find it.
Arsen watches me flush and squirm in my seat and cockily smiles at me. Then he reclines back in his seat, grabbing his glass of wine and draining the contents in one big gulp. I know I need to say something, but I can’t. So many warring thoughts are running through my head; fear, dislike, shock, but the voice that is the loudest is lust.
His cockiness is doing things to my body. The way he is watching me, the way he is smiling at me, and the little touch of his finger is making me wet. I am shocked to discover that I want my tongue to be the one tracing his finger. I want to open my legs, take his head, and guide his tongue inside of me so he can drink me, swallow me just as if I were that glass of wine. I want his tongue to taste me.
Alarmed with the direction of my thoughts, I find my voice to shut him and my own imagination down.
“I…Excuse me—”
I don’t finish my sentence because Arsen lifts his index finger to his mouth signaling me not to say anything more.
Is he kidding me? I can’t.
Putting my napkin down, I push my chair back and excuse myself, saying that I need to use the ladies room. I don’t bother looking at him or at Victoria.
I need to get away.
Walking out of the bathroom, calm but still lost in thought, I don’t see Arsen approaching me until he’s standing in front of me.
“Hey.” There’s a teasing tone in his voice.
“Hi,” I say dryly. I need to get back to the table and get this night over with; he’s making me very uncomfortable. Actually, the thoughts he’s invoking in me are making me uncomfortable.
“Did I say something to bother you back at the table?”
“Um…No. Not at all…” I stutter nervously.
“Really?” He steps closer to me and lifts a hand, letting his fingers touch my shoulder and caress it slowly. I want to take a step back, but I can’t move. I’m frozen under his spell. “Because when I did this, it looked like it bothered you a lot.”
“Please stop doing that…” I shake my shoulder off.
“Why? How about we ditch my mom and have some fun?” he asks, reclining his shoulder against the wall and taking in my body.
“No. I can’t.” I feel myself blush under his scrutiny.
“Why not? I’m known to be a good fucking time.”
“B-because...because I’m—”
Doesn’t he know I’m married?
“I like you. There’s something about the stiffness in your demeanor that makes me want to see if you have a wild side.”
He’s telling me all these things while he stands there looking cool and composed. Confident. Cocky.
“No. You didn’t let me finish before. I can’t. I’m married and not interested. Now can you please move to the side so I can get back to your mother?”
He seems shocked when I tell him that I’m married. Good. Whatever this is between us needs to be nipped in the bud.
“You’re married? You’re not wearing a wedding band,” he says, pointing at my finger.
“Well, I forgot to put them on,” I say, rubbing my hands together.
“I can still show you a good time, you know. Even better since it can be a one-time thing.” He moves away from the wall, and leans down to whisper in my ear. “It can be our little secret.”
I push him away. “What’s with you? I don’t even know you. Do you always insinuate yourself to women like this and it works?”
“Yes. Always.” “Well, it won’t work with me. I’m married and not interested. End of story. Now please, let me go back.”
Angry and offended, I turn around and walk away from him. I can’t believe that man. I just met him, but he’s saying these disgusting things to me.
Making my way to the table, I sit down next to Victoria and proceed to pretend that what just happened outside the bathroom between her son and me didn’t actually occur. That those words were never exchanged.
Even if for a small fraction of a moment, maybe I did consider them.
I pretend that I wasn’t tempted at all.
By the time Arsen comes back, he doesn’t ignore me like I thought he would. He continues to be flirtatious, but now that kilowatt smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Instead, they look cold and empty.
When I get home, I feel dirty and guilty. I don’t know why. I shouldn’t feel any of those things. It’s not like I asked Arsen to follow me to the bathroom or to say all those things to me. It’s not like I actually flirted with him.
I didn’t. At all.
But the guilt is there.
The conflicting emotions stampeding through me are leaving such chaotic confusion in its wake that I feel as if my conscience is the resulting aftermath.
And maybe some small part of me wanted to say yes.
“What’s with you?” My dad asks me as we sit down to have dinner.
“What do you mean?” I reach for my glass of water and notice that my hand is slightly shaking.
“Cathy, since you got back from school you haven’t been able to stop smiling.” He studies my face. “Did you meet someone?”
“Maybe…” I say before taking a mouthful of penne.
“I thought so. You have one of the biggest grins I’ve seen in a very long time. You should smile more, my darling. It makes me very happy.”
I rarely smile. Not since my mom left. We haven’t heard from her in over eight years, and I doubt we ever will, so smiles are scarce in my life. Only good grades, my dad, and a good book will bring them out.
“Don’t worry, Daddy. And yes, I met someone today. I...I think it was the most amazing experience ever.”
“Cathy…”
“No, nothing has happened yet, so don’t panic. We just met in the rain.”
“What do you mean in the rain?”
“Daddy, forget about it. Just know that I met one of the most beautiful guys I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Darling, I think you say that about every good looking guy you see.”
“Yes, maybe…but he truly is, Daddy.”
He’s quiet for a minute while we stare at each other.
“Just be careful. I’ve never seen you this excited over a boy. Not even when you dated those two assholes.”
“Dad…”
“I’ll drop it, but if he wants to take you out, he better be ready to meet me.”
“Dad!” I exclaim. Sometimes my dad can get quite carried away, but he’s right. I have to be cautious. The last time I gave my heart away, it was broken badly.
My two ex-boyfriends, the only two boys I’ve ever loved and slept with, are long gone, but I still think about them. Jack had medium brown hair, wore glasses, and was lanky. He wasn’t unattractive, yet he wasn’t handsome. He was just like me—passable. My second boyfriend, Matt, was really good looking, so much so that I always wondered why he was with me. Our relationship was conventional, his love for me ordinary. I, on the other hand, loved him so much, wanted him so much. When he broke up with me because I wasn’t doing it for him anymore, it broke me. He broke me. I haven’t really seen anyone since high school ended and college began. I need to maintain my GPA and not jeopardize my scholarship.
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