The Dare - Dyken Rachel Van - Страница 27
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"Sorry." I croaked. "I thought I saw a… turtle."
A turtle? Beth mouthed.
"Sir, tortoises aren't predators."
"I know, I just…" I licked my lips in irritation. "The excursions? Please?"
The man was silent for a minute. "At this moment, all we have available is the noon excursion to a few of the sugarcane fields with a lovely picnic and a horseback ride through the waterfalls."
"Sounds perfect."
"Great, but I should warn you that—"
"Money isn't a problem," I interrupted. "We'll be in the front lobby in ten minutes."
I hung up the phone with a smug grin. Yeah, I was basically kicking Iron Man's ass. A horseback ride? Hiking through sugarcane fields? And a picnic? Slap my ass and call me charming. Fairytale, here we come!
****
"Jace?" Beth gripped my arm and stepped on my foot for the second time in five minutes. I winced in pain. "Sorry."
"What?"
"I think we're lost."
"We're not lost," I snapped. "We're exploring."
Exploring: A word men use when they're lost. See also: Stubborn as a mule.
"Oh." Beth sighed.
I took a sip of water from my water bottle and soldiered through. The picnic had gone pretty well. But now we were supposed to be touring the sugarcane fields, and in a moment of pure genius, I'd taken a step in and asked Beth to follow me. After all, how big could a sugarcane field possibly be?
It was like being in a giant cornfield, only the spiders were bigger than Mars and had fangs that made them look like tiny vampires ready to feed on our souls.
Note to self: Sugarcane fields are where people go to die. See also: Hell.
I pushed through some more sugarcane stalks and swore when I realized we'd have to go back the way we came. There was no way we could walk out of this place and actually make it back to the van in time for dinner. I wasn't Bear Grylls, and I could have sworn I saw a spider waving at me a few minutes ago. No way was I giving him a chance to get up close and personal.
"Jace..." Beth whispered.
"Not now. I'm trying to decide what direction we're facing," I snapped and looked up at the sky. North was ahead of us. The hotel was south—"
"Jace!" Beth swatted my back.
"Beth, seriously, don't interrupt a man when he's exploring. It's like our natural habitat, okay? Throws us off and freaks us out when women try to help."
She swatted me again, this time hitting me in the back.
"Beth, seriously." I turned around.
Her eyes were big as saucers, and then everything happened in slow motion. A tree-trunk-shaped hairy leg appeared in my line of vision. Beth screamed and started running in the other direction, and then something I can only describe as a species not yet discovered on this planet began crawling down my face.
Not a proud moment when a man screams like a small child and begins pulling off all of his clothes.
"R-uuun!" I shouted.
Beth had already taken off.
The creature bobbed against my line of vision as I ran. I swatted against it to get it to fall off of my face, but somehow it managed to cling to my arm. I imagined its tiny fangs sinking into my skin just as the sugarcane parted into a clearing.
Beth was hunched over, breathing hard, and I was still shaking my arm, trying to get the creature or spider or whatever the hell it was off.
"Shh…" A Hawaiian man approached, hands high in the air. "You're scaring Frank."
"Frank?" I stopped moving my arm and looked at the offensive creature.
"Very old," the man nodded, "very wise guardian of the cane."
"Oh, dear Lord."
"You mustn't remove Frank," our guide said in low tones. "He removes himself when he's ready."
"Would that be before or after he kills me?" I asked. "Just curious."
"He does not kill." The Hawaiian man actually looked upset that I'd even suggested such a thing. "He brings life into the cane and guards it from evil."
"So I'm evil?"
"No." The man took another step forward. "He must have been attracted to your scent. Tell me, are you aroused?"
I blinked a few times. Was this real? Or was I hallucinating?
"Hell. No." Was he accusing me of being sexually attracted to spiders? Is that what was happening?
"During mating season, the spider senses can often be affected by the scent of arousal. Have you and your lady friend been…" He coughed.
"No," Beth chimed in. "Lady friend says no."
"Interesting." The man finally stopped in front of me. "But you want to, with your lady friend?"
"Uh…" Oh, what the hell. "Yes."
"It could be the Viagra," Beth chimed in.
I sent her a seething glare while Frank clenched harder onto my arm.
"A young man such as yourself? Needing Viagra?" The guide chuckled. "No wonder Frank's attaching himself to you. He smells your desire."
"I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO MALE SPIDERS!" Yeah. I'd snapped. I'd take that assassination attempt any second now.
"Nobody said you had to mate with him." Beth giggled.
"You." I pointed and made a cutting signal with my free hand — you know, the one that wasn't getting humped by the spider. Words I thought I'd never utter.
"Perhaps Frank senses your desperation. Maybe you should stop prolonging the inevitable and mate with your lady friend." He pulled out a carrot and began gnawing on one end of it. "Besides, you only have five days to decide your fate. That curse must be working. It's magic."
"Curse?" I repeated.
"Yeah, your keiki is off."
"My keiki is fine."
"Frank's upset," Beth piped up. "He's getting on his haunches."
"Shit!" I waved my arm again. "First off, Frank," I pointed to the offending spider, "is still attached to me. Second, how do you even know how long we're staying, and third, are you, or have you been in the past hour, high as a kite? And were you the one that cursed me?"
"I give drugs, not hugs. Hang loose, man." He grinned and reached for the spider. "Most guests only stay six to seven days, but you two were easy to peg. I read it in your reservation you made this morning. And my cousin's the boat captain." He grinned and took another bite off his carrot then held out his hands to Frank.
The spider slowly crawled off my arm and into the guide's waiting hands. The minute his hairy ass was gone, I ran toward Beth and shook my entire body.
When I approached her for comfort, she took a step back.
"Oh no, you don't. You could have more Franks in your pants. No way I'm taking a chance of one of them touching me. Who knows what voodoo that Viagra cast on you."
"So many things wrong with that sentence, Beth. So many things."
"Be free, Frank!" The guide let the spider loose and turned to face us.
"Bye, Frank!" Beth waved.
"Stop waving." I grabbed her hand.
She jerked free of my grip. "Chill. It's not like he bit you."
"And you noticed that when? Before or after you took off screaming, leaving me to die in the middle of the sugarcane field?"
Beth's eyes narrowed. "You're just pissed because you're the worst explorer ever, don't know where North is, and would totally get voted off Survivor Island."
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