I Want It That Way - Aguirre Ann - Страница 57
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“My circumstances have changed, due to some family issues. I was hoping you might be able to keep me on full-time in the fall since I’ll be enrolling in night class, instead, probably just one per semester for a while.”
She didn’t ask for more personal details, a fact for which I was grateful. “Do you have a preference as to classroom assignment? And are you interested in being a lead teacher?”
“Am I qualified?”
“Not to teach kindergarten, but for any of the other rooms, yes, between your experience here and your college credits.”
“Then yeah, I’d love for you to consider me as a lead.”
“I haven’t told anyone yet, but Mrs. Kimball is going on maternity leave in August, and I suspect she won’t be back. I’ve heard whispers that she’s planning to open an in-home day care when her baby’s a few months old.”
“She teaches three-year-olds, right?” Better than the twos, anyway.
The director nodded. “Are you interested in taking over for her in August?”
“Yes. I can also handle forty hours a week, as soon as you can increase my hours.”
“People are already asking for vacation time. I’ll need you to work more, probably starting in June. But you’ll be in Mrs. Trent’s room or floating until August.”
“Okay, I really appreciate it.”
Buoyed by that success, I went home in a good mood and Skyped with my parents to inform them. Loans would get me into a teaching position faster, but I’d rather go slow and pay my way bit by bit, as I could afford it. I still planned to reimburse them, someday, but like theirs, my situation had changed. Maybe I’d hopped off the fast track, but that wasn’t a bad thing.
It’s just life.
“Any change on the Ty front?” my mom asked.
“Not yet. I had to figure things out at work first.”
“I get it. You want to devote full attention to him when you go for it.” She sounded disturbingly invested in my relationship issues.
“I don’t know how I feel about your enthusiasm,” I said.
Wisely, my mom changed the subject. “Oh, by the way, Rob broke up with Avery. It happened a while ago, but I forgot to tell you—with everything else going on.”
“That’s good news,” I blurted.
“I’m with you there.”
“How’s Dad doing?”
“Coping. He doesn’t like his new limitations, but I’ll help him adapt. He’s definitely not cutting down the pine tree. Are you still coming home this summer?”
“Yeah, but I plan to fly, not drive.”
“Okay, honey. Just let us know when.”
Soon after, we disconnected the call. Angus was in Europe, and this time, he’d taken his boyfriend with him on his father’s dime. I had high hopes for him and Del. Max was still working at the garage, and Courtney had gone home for a few weeks, though she was still paying rent. With only Max and me around, the apartment felt really empty, but since I didn’t want witnesses for what came next, it was for the best.
Unless Ty’s schedule had changed, he’d be on his own this weekend. Two days left. So I hauled out my notebook and wrote the rest, everything that had happened since the breakup. Now the account was complete. Drained, I took a shower and then went to bed without dinner. Angus would’ve badgered me; Max came in too late to notice.
Friday evening, I came home from work and collected the Ty journal I’d created. Sucking in a sharp breath, I marched downstairs and left it outside his door in a bright red box with a bow on it. I wondered if he’d realize I was showing him my soul. Maybe he’d burn it for me or return it unread. But I didn’t think so.
At one in the morning, I heard his patio door open and for the first time, I went out. Like that first night, I saw him standing below, and my heart opened like a flower. In the moonlight, he was everything beautiful and broken; I loved him to madness. There were no brakes for me anymore, just an endless rush toward him. And I’d fall if he didn’t catch me.
“That was a terrible thing to read,” he said quietly, not looking up. “I’d just started getting over you.”
“Liar.” I said it with complete confidence.
He glanced up then, and I could tell it shocked him to find me smiling. Leaning forward, I lowered the basket down to him. In it, I’d placed a red heart cut out of construction paper. Childish, yes, but I enjoyed writing Nadia + Ty 4-ever, like I was twelve, and the world was never so complicated as trying to figure out whether he like liked me.
Ty plucked the heart out and cupped it in his hands, as if it was a butterfly that might soar away on the night wind. “Why this? Why now?”
“Can I come down? Will you let me in?”
He made a muffled sound, but his answer was clear. “You know I will.”
Steps light and sure, I dashed out of my apartment and down to his patio gate. I tapped lightly, waiting for him to open the door. In a few moments he did, and I was struck by how thin he was, not just lean, as if losing me had leeched the life from him.
“I thought I saw you in a bar,” I said. “But it wasn’t you. It was some other ginger devil.”
“Did you take him home?” There were five paces between us, fireflies and the golden gleam of his solar lamps. His garden smelled of flowers and green things, delicately come to blossom in the warmth of the afternoon.
“No,” I said. “But you knew that already, somewhere in your bones.”
“Why are you here, Nadia? There’s nothing left to talk about.”
I took a step toward him. “That’s where you’re wrong. You think you can plan love. Pencil it in for later. But really, you’re just scared of being hurt again. But here’s the thing, Ty. What I feel for you, it isn’t going away. Neither am I. You could call me in five years, ask me to come, and I’d get in the car and start driving.”
He smiled softly and shook his head. “Then you’re crazy.”
“In ten years, that will still be true. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and none of it’s changed. I love you, and I love Sam, too. I understand what it means to be with you. It won’t be a storybook life, with everything happening on some perfect schedule. I don’t care about that.”
“You’ll change your mind.” But he sounded dazed, gazing across the four short steps that separated us like I might storm the battlements and cast down all his archers.
I planned to.
“Bullshit. My dad’s sick, Ty. My parents can’t afford tuition, and I can’t keep my scholarship when I drop to part-time. But you won’t hear me saying, Damn, I’ll never be a teacher now. I’ll get there. It’ll just take longer. I won’t give up on that, and I won’t give up on you, either.”
“Nadia...” There was a world of loneliness and longing in that tone.
I knew it intimately; I wore it like a charm about my neck. “If you send me away today, I’ll knock tomorrow. I’ll say this again. And again. Until you’re ready to believe me, and I don’t care how long it takes. I do not fucking give up on the things that matter, and nobody’s ever mattered more to me than you. When you asked before, I wasn’t ready...and neither were you. That was just a challenge you threw down to get me to back away.”
“Was it?”
“If not, then it was the crappiest proposal ever.” There, I made him smile. He was still holding the red heart, stroking it between his fingers.
“I want to believe you,” he whispered.
The unspoken “but” hung in the air between us. I only smiled and let myself out of the garden gate. Upstairs, I expected some surge of disappointment, but it didn’t come. I had time. Besides work, what did I have to do besides convince Ty to take a chance on me?
Saturday morning, I went downstairs with French toast and scrambled eggs. I was kind enough to let him sleep in, so I didn’t bang on the door before ten. He’d clearly been up late the night before, I hoped thinking about me. He was gorgeous and rumpled and so very kissable. Smiling, I offered him breakfast.
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