I Want It That Way - Aguirre Ann - Страница 38

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See, it’s fine. The weekend was fantastic, and now it’s over. Life goes on.

I worked my way into the cluster of thrashing drunk people and found a guy who seemed more sober than most. He moved well—not like Angus—but decent for a farmhouse party in Michigan. Not that the guys in Nebraska were the best dancers ever, either. Like Max, most of the dudes I went to high school with had just barely mastered the white-boy shuffle. Arms over my head, I threw myself into the music and danced for almost an hour. The guy signaled that he was getting a drink, and I just waved and kept going. Angus joined me after that, which was good. It kept other guys at bay, and he was a great partner, challenging me to vary my moves and try to execute some I’d normally be too self-conscious to attempt.

Finally, around midnight, I went looking for food and drink. Most of the chip bags were empty, and I was lucky to score a beer. I didn’t see Scott anywhere, and people were starting to pair off. Lauren was talking to a blond guy, a skater wannabe who never went without a beanie and couldn’t actually do any tricks on his board. Typical poser.

It didn’t take long to spot Max, watching intently. He had one hand balled up in a fist. Carrying my beer, I navigated through the crowd toward him. “Hey, dial it down. They’re just talking, and you look like you’re trying to make his head explode with your mind.”

“Would that be so wrong?” he muttered.

“Have you said anything to her?”

“Not about that.”

“God, you’re such weaksauce at telling someone how you feel.” Maybe that was too tough a stance since I’d just counseled him to talk to her earlier today.

But before I could apologize, he snapped, “Is this your idea of a pep talk, Conrad? You might need to up your game or risk turning all your little impaired kids into cutters.”

“Wow.” That was much harsher than Max usually came across. Shocked, I stared at him for a few seconds, and then I wheeled and started to walk away, but he put a hand on my arm.

“I’m sorry, okay? Sorry.”

Shrugging him off, I turned with a glare. “I’ve been nothing but supportive, you asshole, even when I have plenty of my own shit going on. But do you ever ask how I’m doing? Fuck, no. I’m tired of you slouching around acting like nobody ever had a problem besides you.”

“Are you guys fighting?” Lauren must’ve broken away from skater boy when she registered the tension; by nature, she was a fixer and a people-pleaser.

“No,” Max answered, as I said, “Kinda.”

“Well, which is it?” She aimed a hard look at us.

“Nadia doesn’t agree with how I’m handling a personal problem, so she’s pushing me to make a move, and I snapped back. Then I apologized. Before you walked up, Lauren. It’s handled. We’re good. Right, Nadia?” His eyes begged me not to say anything, like he was scared to death she’d take his heart and stomp on it.

I sighed. “Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. And we’re fine. To prove how fine, Max just asked me to dance.”

He bit out a curse that Lauren couldn’t hear because just then, a slow song came on. Max wanted to slow dance with me as much as I wanted to do the Macarena. I took one step toward the couples getting cozy and pretended to wince. I bent to rub my toes, as if I had a blister.

“Do you mind?” I asked Lauren. “Max loves this song.”

Behind me, he was mouthing, what the hell, but when she shrugged and took his hand, I grinned like a crazy person. I gave him a this is your chance look, but he shook his head. He was a good six inches taller than Lauren, if not more, so she couldn’t see the expression on his face as she settled into his arms. He touched his cheek briefly to the top of her head, and it was one of the sweetest things I’d ever seen.

Angus came up beside me, eyes wide in horror. “Dear God. How did I miss this?”

“You had Josh problems.”

“Come on, let’s talk and dance.” He led me out and added, “So do we support this?”

Since he knew something was up, there was no point in hiding it. “Top secret, you swear?”

“Cross my heart, all appropriate solemnities.”

“Max digs her. She doesn’t know and probably wouldn’t believe it if she did. I’ve been trying to get him to be brave, but so far, he prefers silent anguish. Otherwise, I’m not interfering.” I didn’t mention the fact that they’d hooked up once or that Max’s fading bruises had something to do with Lauren.

“Right. And your sore toes have miraculously improved,” he said with a head shake.

“It’s you. Have you considered becoming a faith healer?”

“I might enjoy the laying on of hands. But no. These hands will heal as God intended, via modern medicine with a high premium attached.”

“I don’t think plastic surgery technically counts as healing, Angus.” Last I knew, that was his intended area of concentration once he finished med school.

“It is for burn victims.”

“And you’ll be doing mostly restorative procedures?”

“Shut up and dance,” he muttered.

Just past one, the party got really loud and crazy. As predicted, some noncollege people showed up, and they looked like a rough crew. We decided en masse to roll out then, not least of all because I had an early morning. Angus was sober, a relief, because I’d had enough beer to buzz me pretty good. In the back with Max, I was feeling mellow, so when a sharp curve threw me against him, I stayed.

“You’re heavy,” he complained.

“You’re an asshole. Don’t ever say that to a girl.”

“Even when it’s true?”

“Especially then.”

With a faint sigh, he put his arm around me, and I couldn’t help but compare Max to Ty. He felt wrong, smelled wrong, even held me wrong. But he was warm at least.

“Fine, you’re made of moonlight and gossamer. Better?”

“Immeasurably.”

We sat together companionably until Angus parked in his spot outside the building. “This will probably be my last fiesta for a while. I have to get serious before finals.”

That was no joke since Angus’s program was mad competitive. But I was in the same boat. Depending on how I did on midterms, I might need to focus even more to make sure my GPA stayed high enough for me to keep my scholarship. Other people skipped class more than I did, partied harder and longer, but they didn’t have parents who were mortgaging their future, gambling everything on one kid making good.

“We’ll party again after exams,” Lauren said.

Everyone nodded, even Max. Then we headed up to the apartment. After checking my alarm, I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. Have to be up in five hours. Wincing at that, I plugged in my phone for the first time all day. Deliberately I hadn’t looked at it since I left Ty’s. I don’t want to be that girl, living for text messages.

But I had one waiting from him, sent four hours ago.

I miss you already.

Smiling, I sent back, Me, too.

November went by in a flurry of work, classes and practicum. In my off hours, I studied hard and worked on the lesson I’d be teaching before winter break. Ty messaged me regularly, and sometimes he left home late enough to steal kisses in the Rainbow Academy parking lot. Each time he walked away, there was an awful pang in my stomach.

Sometimes it felt like all I did was watch him leave.

But Sam was a bright spot. It seemed like he was always beside me at work, tugging on my pants, asking questions, hugging me unexpectedly. I wasn’t sure how Ty would feel about that, but it had to be okay because I was his day-care teacher. Sam was forming this bond on his own, not because of my relationship with Ty. We’d done a fantastic job of keeping that private and separate, just like he wanted.

Before I knew it, the month was nearly gone. The day before Thanksgiving, Lauren crawled out of bed at half past five and poked me awake, so we could get on the road to Nebraska. Here in Michigan, the weather was spitting snow, but so far, there wasn’t any at home yet. With luck, the roads would stay clear long enough for us to get there and back. The Toyota wasn’t exactly equipped with four-wheel drive.

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