Frozen - Casey L.A. - Страница 42
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My mother cleared her throat from behind me. "This will sound cheesy, but there really is a thin line between love and hate."
I growled, "I do not love Darcy, Mother."
I knew I didn't love him, if I did, I would surely feel like I was dying without him.
My mother grinned. "Fine, a thin line between like and hate then."
Oh, she was so funny.
"Ha. Ha. Ha," I deadpanned.
My mother gave me a sad smile. "Relationships, even brand new ones, are not easy, sweetheart. You have to constantly work at them, but if they weren't worth the risk of a broken heart, you would have never taken the chance in the first place."
My mother's words hurt my already broken heart.
"What are you saying?" I tearfully asked.
My mother stood and walked over to me.
She kissed my forehead and said, "I'm saying, don't give up on Darcy so easily. You don't want too or you wouldn't be crying over him so much. Merry Christmas, sweetheart."
I closed my eyes as she left my room and I was alone once more.
I sunk to the floor and tried to organise my thoughts, but I couldn't.
My mind was a mess.
Don't give up on Darcy.
My mother's voice echoed my thoughts.
I softly cried.
My mother was wrong because I didn't give up on Darcy, he gave up on me.
I opened my eyes when a knock sounded on my bedroom door.
I wanted to scream out and tell whoever it was to go away, but it was Christmas, and no matter how shitty I was feeling or how down I was, I wouldn't take it out on my family.
"Yes?" I called out.
A throat cleared. "It's me."
Everything stopped.
My breathing.
My heartbeat.
Time.
"Go away," I managed to get out after a log period of silence.
I watched as the knob on my bedroom door turned, and as the door slowly opened until all six feet three inches of Darcy stepped into my room wearing black jeans, black boots, messy hair in a sexy styled way... and a red reindeer jumper?
My mother, I thought.
She always made us wear something 'Christmassy' to dinner on Christmas, it was a tradition we had going for years. My onesie was the item she chose for me this year at dinner. I glanced down at it and sighed. I was a snow woman, the hood of my hoodie also doubled as a snowman facemask if you pulled it down far enough. It was comfortable though, so I couldn't really complain.
I forgot about my stupid onesie when Darcy closed my bedroom and turned to face me.
"Hey, my Neala Girl."
I closed my eyes and shook my head as I lay back on my bed. My heart thudded against my chest, and my stomach churned.
"Don't call me that, Darcy," I whispered.
I heard him take a few steps over to me.
"I'm sorry," he said.
My anger and hurt unleashed itself.
"Don't," I snapped and jumped to my feet. "Don't come in here because you feel bad, or because my brother made you. I don't want to hear your false apology so get the fuck out and leave me alone! I told you I never wanted to see or speak to you ever again. What part of that didn't you understand?"
My skin was burning with rage, and my hands hurt from squeezing them together so tightly.
Darcy stood his ground and didn't even flinch at my shouting.
"I'm here of my own accord, not because I was forced to come here," he snapped. "I'm fucking sorry, okay. I didn't mean any of what I said."
Bull. Shit.
"Yes, you did! You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. I wasn't in the room, I didn't argue with you or make you say anything out of anger. A question was put to you and you answered it… Honestly."
Darcy lifted his hands to his face before he slid them around to his neck. "I didn't answer it honestly, I swear on me life it wasn't the truth."
I shook my head and listened to what my head was telling me.
He was lying.
"There you go," Darcy snapped at me.
I furrowed my eyebrows together. "What?" I asked.
"You already have your bloody mind made up. You always fucking do this - you don't give me a chance to prove meself to you. You blame everything on me and don't believe a thing I say!" he shouted.
Was that a fucking joke?
"When have you ever proved yourself to me?" I screamed.
Darcy dropped his arms from his neck and turned, walked over to my door and punched it. I jumped with fright, but kept my eyes narrowed when he turned back to face me.
"I thought I proved meself to you last night," he said, his voice low.
I stared at him blankly, unblinking. "I bared meself to you last night. I put meself and me feelings on the line. I thought you did too, then you showed your true colours this morning."
Darcy blew out a big breath and looked up to the ceiling. "What do I have to do to make you believe I was lying this morning?"
I swallowed. "You can't do anything." I turned around and climbed onto my bed. "Just… Just go away. Please."
I hated how much I wanted to kiss him or touch him in some sort of way, but I forced myself to turn and face my bedroom wall as I lay on my bed. I knew Darcy didn't leave because I could hear his fast paced breathing.
My bed dipped moments later and arms came around me as Darcy lay beside me and pulled me into him. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to waltz in here and touch me. I was grateful for his comforting touch though and I didn't realise how much I needed it until he snuggled up against me.
"I don't regret you, we weren't a mistake, and I do want you," he said, squeezing me with each pause in his sentence.
I squeezed my eyes shut as my tears flowed free. Darcy turned me to face him, and I opened my eyes and when I looked up at his handsome face, I cried harder.
"I d-don't b-believe you," I whispered.
I couldn't.
He was only saying this because of how upset I was, that was the only reason.
He didn't want me... not like the way I wanted him.
"I know you don't, but I've got all the time in the world to prove to you that I am telling the truth," he said then leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.
My tears fell and mixed in with our kiss.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds before we broke apart.
Darcy kissed my forehead and said, "I'm going to prove meself to you. I promise."
I looked down. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
Darcy placed two fingers under my chin and lifted my head up until I was once again looking at him.
"I don't," he said before he kissed the tip of my nose and climbed out of my bed and walked out of my bedroom, closing the door behind himself.
What was that?
Why didn't I scream or throw stuff at him when he kissed me?
Why wasn't I angry at him?
I frowned when I realised the answer.
It was because I was sad.
The sadness I felt, filled me completely and left no room for anything else.
I shouldn't have, but I held out a little hope that Darcy would prove himself to me, and even if he didn't I would keep the promise I made to him. I wouldn't go back to my old ways. I wouldn't hate him... I'd eventually be his friend if that was all I could be.
"I hate men," I muttered to myself then laughed.
It wasn't a hard laugh, or even a long laugh, but it was still a laugh and in light of the shit that hit the fan over past few hours I thought of it a progress.
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