Frozen - Casey L.A. - Страница 39
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"You actually finished decorating?" Justin asked, more than surprised from the look on his face.
I smiled. "Not me, Neala."
Sean nodded his head. "Sounds like her."
I nodded.
Sean grimaced. "So... what's happening now with you both?"
My stomach dropped at the question because I honestly had no idea.
"I guess we'll go back to our old ways and do what we normally do - hate each other."
Justin furrowed his eyebrows at me while Sean full on glared.
I swallowed and blew out a breath. "I know it sounds harsh, trust me, I don't want say it, but when she wakes up and realises what's happened she will go crazy."
Sean stepped forward. "Realises what's happened?"
Oh shite.
I worded that terribly.
"She knows what's happened, last night... We were caught up in the moment. What I mean is that she's gonna regret what we did. I know how she is and the blame will, as usual, fall at my feet. It's going to ruin what was said before the sex happened."
Justin frowned. "What was said?"
I scratched my neck. "We made friends, and called an indefinite truce on our bullshit. We were pretty happy last night, and then we necked down a lot of wine and bam. Sex."
It was weird now that I thought of it. I drank a fair amount of wine, and so did Neala but we were both sober. At most I probably felt a tiny bit tipsy, but I didn't even notice it so I can say for certain the drinking didn't make us lose control, we did that all on our own.
Sean pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, man."
I forced a smile. "Me too."
Justin continued to frown at me. "Do you regret what happened between the pair of you?"
Hell no.
Of course I didn't, but I didn't want to appear weak and emotional so I cleared my throat and said, "Yes and no. I don't regret making friends with Neala, but I do regret having sex with her. I mean, not the initial act but the impending aftermath... it was just a mistake. I can't believe I thought it would actually be good for us and it could be a step in a new direction for the pair of us, but I was wrong. The best thing for us is just being platonic friends and-"
"And what?"
I froze, Justin froze, and even Sean froze.
The lads took a step away from one another and revealed a beautifully flushed Neala wrapped in my bed sheets. She was a thing of beauty, and just as I was about to smile at her I looked into her eyes, her hurt eyes, and my heart cracked.
"Neala," I breathed, and shook my head.
Neala swallowed. "Finish was you were saying, go on."
I couldn't move or speak.
Neala's eyes began to well up. "Finish it. Go on. Tell our brother's how much you regret last night and how much of a mistake we are."
Oh, Christ.
I was frantic. "Neala, please. You don't understand-"
"I understand fucking perfectly! You promised we would be different... You promised we wouldn't hate each other again."
A nervous sweat broke out across my forehead. "We won't-"
"Liar! Don't fucking lie to me!" she screamed as tears streaked down her cheeks.
This was bad.
This was very bad.
I didn't want to upset her any further than what I had already so I remained silent as I looked at her. She angrily wiped at her face and shot me a look filled with so much hate, it knocked me back a couple of steps. I felt sick.
"Please," I said, wishing I knew what to say to make her not look at me like she was.
I didn't know what I was saying please for, but I said it anyway hoping she would have mercy on me.
"Please, what?" she hissed.
I blinked. "Don't hate me."
She looked at me for a long moment a said, "I don't hate you, Darcy... I regret you. I regret the day I ever met you."
I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me by her words. I was about to reach out and go to her when she turned and stormed down the hallway and back into my bedroom where she slammed the door closed so hard the living room walls shook.
Sean and Justin stood idle by the doorway as they looked at me.
"Darcy..." Justin began, but I didn't stick around to hear what he had to say, I followed Neala out of my living room and down the hallway. I stood outside my bedroom and swallowed down the bile that rose up my throat.
I only had her, and in a matter of seconds I lost her.
I felt empty.
I felt like nothing.
I place my forehead on my bedroom door and exhaled.
I regret you.
That was the worst thing she could have said to me. It fucking hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut and for the first time in my entire life, I wished Neala had just said she hated me.
I was going to be sick.
I stumbled forward with Darcy's bed sheets wrapped around my naked body into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. I grabbed my still damp clothes from atop Darcy's dresser, and out of the corner of my eyes I caught something pink in the top of Darcy's slightly open top drawer. I opened the drawer and found the wrapped in pink, and slightly damaged, doll box.
I focused on not screaming. He was still trying to take the doll from me, after everything - that was his main priority. He put it in his drawer to keep it away from me. I steadied myself and bent over just in case I did throw up, but when nothing happened I straightened myself up and began to pant. I used one hand to hold the bed sheet around me, and my free hand to press against my forehead.
This wasn't happening.
Darcy regretted last night?
He regretted the sex we shared?
He regretted me?
"Neala?"
I choked back a sob, but could do nothing about the tears that freely streamed down my face.
"Leave me alone, Darcy. Please," I said through my tears.
He was as silent as a mouse because I didn't hear him come into the room after me.
"I didn't mean what I said."
I sat on the side of his bed and reached down for my clothing. I didn't have my knickers, they were in Darcy's kitchen bin, so I grabbed my shoes and pulled my heels on instead. I stood up and uncaringly dropped the bed sheet from around my body. I wasn't embarrassed, if anything I felt disgusted. Darcy saw every inch of me last night, but he said it was a mistake so it meant nothing to him which meant changing in front of him would also mean nothing to him. I pulled my damp dress over my head and fixed it on my body.
"No," I sniffled, "you did mean it, you just didn't mean for me to hear what you said."
Darcy moved closer to me, I could feel him behind me.
"That's not true, Neala. I said what I did because-"
"I don't care why you said it, I just care that you said it. Last night shouldn't have happened, Darcy," I cut him off as I put on my blazer and turned to face him. "You were right. I did wake up regretting what we did. It was a mistake."
I lied.
I flat out lied through my teeth.
I didn't regret a single second of what Darcy and I shared, but I said I did because I refused to let Darcy know that he just broke my heart for the second time. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing me pulled one over on me.
"This is the last time I'm allowing you to having the ability to hurt me. I never want to see or speak to you ever again. You're a pathetic coward and if by some chance you even have a heart it's not working, it's frozen solid."
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