Loki's Wolves - Armstrong Kelley L. - Страница 49
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“I could eat,” Baldwin interjected.
After a moment, Matt said, “Okay.”
With relief, Fen slapped a piece of tape over Paul’s mouth, and then he and Matt wrestled him into the jacket.
“Go ahead in,” Fen suggested to Matt. “Let me give him some wolf-to-wolf advice.”
“Okay, but then I want to talk to you,” Matt said very quietly.
With as little emotion as he could, Fen said, “Sure.”
Then Matt nodded, and he and Baldwin left.
Fen stared at Paul, trying to force the younger wulfenkindinto submission, and said, “Think about it, Paul. Whether you tell us or not, Skull will beat you to find out if you did tell. You could stay here. Don’t be stupid.”
Paul snorted through his gag and rolled his eyes.
“You’re making a mistake,” Fen said, and then he stepped out of the shed and pulled the door closed behind him.
There weren’t a lot of times in Fen’s life that he’d ever felt like he belonged. Sure, with Laurie, he had, but even there, he’d had to keep a lot of secrets. Being part of a team, being one of the descendants of the North, being destined to do something real and important felt awesome—and Fen had a sinking feeling that it was also about to end. The way Matt had looked at him when he said he’d wanted to talk made it pretty clear that one of the Raiders had told Matt about Fen.
As he walked toward Baldwin’s house, Fen admitted to himself that he should’ve told Matt and Laurie about the Raiders and the deal with delivering Matt, but he couldn’t. Now, he wasn’t sure what to say orwhat Matt knew. He liked Matt well enough, all things considered, and even if he didn’t, he respected him. That didn’t mean he wanted to have their little talk in front of everyone. A trickle of fear crept over him at the thought of not only being kicked out, but of everyone hating him.
What if Matt thinks I’m a traitor? I didn’t do it, at least not the worst part.
Fen wasn’t sure what Laurie would do. She’d been the most important person in his life for as long as he could remember, his partner in trouble, but it wasn’t just the two of them anymore. She trusted Matt now. Fen paced across the porch and back into the yard, thinking about the situation. Baldwin was cool. He’d be decent no matter what. The twins were unpredictable; they were growing on him, but they were still pretty apart from the group. Astrid gave him a bad feeling; he didn’t care what she thought of him, but the others seemed to like her. If the Raiders said something that Matt believed, if the others listened to the Raiders, things could easily turn against him, and although he wasn’t going to admit it aloud, he didn’t want to be kicked out. He needed to talk to Laurie and Matt.
He had his hand out to grab the doorknob to go into the house when the door opened. Laurie stood there, scowling, and the trickle of fear exploded. “What?”
“I’m tired of this,” she started. She closed the door behind her and walked over to Fen.
“Of what?”
“You acting like I’m unable to take care of myself at all!” she exclaimed. “You can’t keep doing that.”
Every worry about being asked to leave intensified. If he left, he was taking Laurie with him. There was no way he could leave her here without him. Uncle Stig, Kris, the whole family really, they’d all hate him if Laurie got hurt—or worse.
“Yeah? Well you could’ve been hurt,” Fen growled.
Laurie poked him in the chest. “So could you, or Matt, or Baldwin—”
“Actually, I couldn’t,” Baldwin interrupted.
Fen looked around in confusion.
“Up here,” Baldwin said. He was leaning out of an upstairs window, staring down at them. “Matt could’ve been hurt, and both of you. The wolves really seemed to hate you, Fen. They said you were on their side and you gave them the shield.”
Fen and Laurie turned to stare at Baldwin at the same time.
“If we have time, like later or something, could you open a door so I can see some mistletoe?” Baldwin asked.
Without looking at his cousin, Fen knew she had the exact same incredulous expression on her face.
“No,” Fen said levelly.
Baldwin held up both hands in a placating gesture. “Just a thought!”
“A dumb one,” Fen snapped, but then felt instantly guilty when Baldwin looked crushed. Of all the descendants, Baldwin was the only one who didn’t actually irritate him. It was some strange result of who he was— everyoneliked Balder in the myths—but knowing that there was probably weird god stuff in the mix didn’t make it less real.
“I’m going to order pizzas,” Baldwin blurted. “That’s what I came to ask. Do you want anything special?”
“Whatever you want,” Fen said, as nicely as he could. He felt embarrassed because Laurie was watching, but it wasn’t Baldwin’s fault he was weird any more than it was Laurie’s fault she opened doors or Fen’s fault he turned into a wolf. Fen glanced up at Baldwin. “I’m sorry.”
Baldwin grinned. “It’s fine.” And then he wandered off, calling out questions about pepperoni and olives.
Once he was gone, Fen and Laurie were left alone on the porch. It was hard being around Laurie now that she knew his secrets, hard being around all these people, and hard trying to be himself without upsetting any of them. He braced himself for her to yell at him about the Raiders.
But instead of jumping on the things Baldwin had just said, Laurie continued on with the rant she’d started when she’d come outside: “You need to trust me, Fen. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want any of you to, either, but if we don’t stop Ragnarok, we all will. So, if we are going to stop this, we all have to do the things we can do. I’m part of this, and you need to deal with it.”
“I just want to keep you safe. Thorsen does, too,” Fen muttered.
“Matt’s coming around. Maybe you could try to do the same thing,” she suggested.
Fen grunted. “Maybe you could stay where it’s safe. I’m the descendant who hasto fight, not you.”
She stood up and glared down at him. “Fine! You fight, but don’t you even try to act like I’m not helping, too. I opened that door that got us the shield that yougave the Raiders.”
Fen glared right back. She had heard what Baldwin had said; he’d thought for a moment that she’d missed it. He shook his head. “Your skill is to open doors, to escape. How are you going to protect yourself from the monsters that keep coming?”
She blinked away the tears he could see forming in her eyes. “We’re a team. We rescue each other and fight together. That’s what teams do. That’s how we’ll stop Ragnarok. You’re a wolf. Think of it like a pack.”
Thinking about packs was the problem. For most of his life, the most important person in his life was Laurie; he’d always figured they’d be a pack of two once she transformed—or that he’d hide what he was to keep her safe if she didn’t become a wolf. He might not have parents, but he did have a sorta sister in her. If he was going to be a good packmate, a good almost-brother, he’d have to keep her safe, so if she wasn’t going to let him protect her, maybe it was best to go home, leave the world-saving to Thorsen. “Well, maybe I don’t want to be part of this pack! Maybe we ought to both go home, where it’s safe.”
“You’re such an idiot! There is no safeanymore. The world is ending.” She went inside, slamming the door and leaving him outside. He was alone, and he told himself that it was what he wanted, that he didn’t want to be part of any team—except that the moment she left, he had to admit to himself that it wasn’t what he really wanted at all. He just didn’t want Laurie to get hurt—or to find out what he’d done and hate him.
Fen rubbed his hand over his face. He was sore, bruised, tired, and, if he was totally honest, he was scared. It was one thing to deal with the Raiders, but it was another to think that if he failed—if anyof them failed—the world would end. That was a lot worse than getting smacked around a little. At first, he’d thought Skull and Hattie were crazy, talking about the end of the world, but now that he was in the middle of a fight against them to stop the end of the world, it felt so… big.What if Matt asked him to leave? What if he didn’t, but they failed? What if the serpent killed Matt? What if they went up against trolls or mara or who knew what else and Laurie got hurt? What if Baldwin died, like in the myths? What if he or Laurie somehow turned evil or whatever because they were Loki’s descendants? How do you even know if you’re turning evil?He closed his eyes and tried not to think about any of the questions he couldn’t answer, especially the last one. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there before the door opened. He expected it to be Laurie or Baldwin, but when he turned his head to look, he saw Matt.
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