The Wager - Dyken Rachel Van - Страница 49

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“I think I know that now.” Jake said. “But I still felt like shit, it always haunted me, and honestly it was just too easy to ignore it, to embrace the mentality that I could live hard and do whatever. I wanted to be as far away from Kacey and everything she represented as I could.”

“She trusted you with her heart—”

“And I broke it.” Jake finished. “Into a million tiny pieces. And when given the chance to fix it, I stepped on the pieces, pushing them farther into the ground, destroying everything our friendship was.”

Char was staring at his chest, not moving.

“What are you thinking?” He whispered, knowing full well he sounded like a woman, but not caring in the least.

“I’m sad for you.” Char trailed her finger down his chest. “I’m sad for that fourteen-year–

old boy who’s still struggling to be the man he knows he’s supposed to be.”

“I am.” Jake reached for her face. “I am that man. I want to be that man. You make me want to be him.”

Char looked into his eyes, searching, waiting.

“Travis gave me something today.” He gently moved her away and walked over to the dresser; he opened the first drawer and pulled out the note.

“What’s this?” She took it from his hands.

“A note, from Bill.”

At Char’s gasp, Jake kept talking. “Travis was under strict instructions to give it to me under one condition.”

“What?”

“I fall in love.”

The letter dropped from Char’s hands and fluttered onto the floor. “Do you mean it?”

In two strides, Jake was in front of her. He lifted her into his arms and kissed her mouth, drinking every part of her in. “I do, I love you, and I’m sorry that I come with baggage. I’m sorry I have a past, I’m sorry I kissed a girl and made her cry, I’m sorry that the girl I made cry was you, I’m sorry I haven’t been the man I was created to be, but with you, Char…” Another hungry kiss. “I am him. You make me him, because you make me believe I can be.”

Char nodded as a few tears streamed down her face. “What’s it say?” She pointed down at the note.

“Everything I needed to hear,” Jake said honestly. “Everything I didn’t want to hear. He said your smiles should outnumber your tears.” Jake wiped away a few of her tears with his thumb, brushing them across her cheek. “He said I should treasure you as a partner, not just a lover.” Jake held her fingers to his lips and kissed every single one. “It’s almost as if he knew I would screw up, but loved me regardless.”

“Jake, that’s what love is.”

“Love.” Jake smiled. “Love isn’t effortless; it hurts. When I watch you my chest feels like it’s going to explode, when you touch me I feel it everywhere, when you breathe I hold my breath until you exhale. Love is hell, it’s torture, it drives a man insane, and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt. I feel like I just jumped into a burning building… but Char, you’re my water. I just need to know one thing.”

“What?” She whispered.

“Will you come to my rescue?” 

Without answering, Char went up on her tiptoes and kissed Jake’s mouth. Her tongue met his, slowly pushing into his mouth as he tentatively kissed her back. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him onto the bed.

“So help me God, Jake Titus, if you leave me a thank you note after tonight, I will hunt you down and kill you.”

Jake threw his head back and laughed. “Does that mean you love me?”

“Nope.” Char winked. “That means a woman scorned isn’t a pretty sight.”

“Oh.” His face fell.

“But.” She shrugged. “I guess since we’re confessing.” She dropped the rest of her clothing to the floor and stepped out of it. “I’ve loved you since I first saw you.”

“You loved me when I was five and hid in my parents’ bedroom because the fireworks were too loud during Fourth of July?”

“You had blonde hair.” Char remembered aloud. “It’s dark now, but when you were little, you had the blondest hair. I remember thinking I wanted to touch it because it was so pretty.”

Jake smiled, saying nothing, as his eyes drank her in.

“I wanted you to be my first kiss,” Char admitted, crawling onto the bed and straddling him.

Jake leaned up and whispered across her mouth. “How about I just be your last?”

“What are you—”

“I love you… I am in love with you.” Jake gripped her face between his hands. “I want everything with you, all of you…”

He swept her up in a hungry kiss and ran his hands down her hips, tugging her toward him. His lips blazed a trail down her neck as he worshipped her body, eyes closed. He did everything by touch as he slowly moved down her hips to her legs and then back up again until he was cupping her breasts.

Licking his lips, he removed his hands and pulled away from her.

“Jake?”

“Not like this.” he walked over to the lights and flipped them on.

Char moved to cover herself. “Don’t.” Jake shook his head. “I want to see all of you, I want this…” He watched her lips. “I need this to be different.”

“Jake—”

“You aren’t a notch,” Jake said. “Char, you’re not a damn notch in my bed post, you’re not just some girl. This isn’t a drunken moment we’re going to share. This isn’t another one of my playboy nights. I have nothing to offer you but me, and I want nothing in return but every piece of your heart.”

Char gave him a slow nod.

“Say it,” he said in a hoarse voice.

“You have it,” Char whispered.

“What do I have?” He walked slowly toward the bed.

“My heart.” Char leaned up on her knees. “Me, all of me, every damn piece. I want you to have it all.”

When he reached her, he closed his eyes. “I swear, I’ll never let go.”

“When did you turn so romantic?”

“I don’t know.” Jake pulled her into his arms. “When did you get so damn beautiful that it makes me want to spout poetry?”

“Kiss me.”

“Nope.” Jake gently pushed her away. “I’m going to take this slow.”

“Please take it fast,” Char whined, feeling the loss of his touch like a cold wind against her body.

“No.” Jake’s fingertips grazed her chin. “I want to savor you.”

Char gasped as Jake tugged her face to his and licked her lower lip, then sucked on it, his tongue slipping past her teeth to taste her. “God, you’re amazing.” He mumbled against her lips as he nipped at her mouth and explored every single crevice of her face. Hands roaming all over her, it was impossible to think or do anything except respond to him as he coaxed her, touched her, loved her.

With a sigh, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, gently laying her across it. He pulled away, and watched her, his eyes darkening with need, yet he held himself back.

Smiling, he dove his fingers into her hair and fanned it out around her head, combing through it over and over again as if hypnotized by the way it felt around his fingers.

“I’ve dreamed of this you know.” Jake said. “of the way your hair would look against this bed, against satin sheets, against anything really. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Char opened her mouth to speak but he shushed her with his finger.

His head descended as he kissed her neck and then moved up to her ear, licking the tip and then blowing into it, causing goose bumps to flare across her body.

“So responsive.” His lips moved across her jaw and down her neck to the other ear. He repeated the process, and then placed a wet kiss in the middle of her chest, and blew softly across the wetness as her body once again flared to life, every nerve on edge, waiting in anticipation for his next move.

His hands were warm as they cupped her butt and slid her down on the bed. The heat from his body scorched her as he hovered over her, and his eyes never left her face as he moved his hands from her hips to her thighs. “Tonight, it’s not about me. It’s about you, only you.”

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