Ruthless Russian, Lost Innocence - Shaw Chantelle - Страница 36

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AFTERWARDS, Ella had no clear recollection of walking out of the consulting room. On the periphery of her shell-shocked mind she heard Vadim’s terse voice, asking if the test indicated when she might have conceived, and heard the doctor’s reply that she was about six weeks into her pregnancy.

It must have happened at Kingfisher House, right at the beginning of their affair, she thought dazedly, as Vadim gripped her elbow and whisked her back to the car. His thoughts were obviously on the same track, and as he fired the engine he said harshly, ‘That first time in the summerhouse, during the storm-I didn’t use protection. I assumed, since you did not say anything, that there had been no repercussions after my carelessness, but clearly that is not the case.’

He was white-lipped with shock, and Ella sank back in her seat as they sped back to the villa, trembling with reaction to the astounding news that she was carrying Vadim’s baby. The possibility had not crossed her mind. As she had explained to Dr Arnot, her periods had never been regular, but she had not bothered to seek a reason because she had assumed that, as she never planned to get married, she would never have children.

From the look of fury on Vadim’s face it was clear he did not welcome the news that she was expecting his child. A wave of protectiveness flooded through her, so strong that she placed her hands on her flat stomach. Poor baby! At this early stage it was technically only a cluster of cells, but to Ella it was a child that she and Vadim had created. Could their baby possibly know that it was unwelcome? The idea was so unbearable that tears filled her eyes, and love swept through her with the force of a tidal wave; love for the baby she had never expected to conceive, but who already aroused such a fierce maternal instinct within her that she knew she would give her life for her child.

But what was she going to do? How would she manage as a single mother? She could not realistically pursue a career as a soloist when it would mean dragging a young child around the world each time she toured, she acknowledged heavily. Lost in her thoughts, she did not notice that they had driven through the gates of the Villa Corraline until Vadim cut the engine, and her heart thudded frantically in her chest when he led the way into the house in a grim silence that shredded her nerves.

He had no right to be so angry, she thought rebelliously when he ushered her into the sitting room and followed her inside, closing the door with an ominous thud. He had admitted that her pregnancy was due to his mistake. He was probably furious because he believed she would demand a huge maintenance agreement for their child-but he had no need to worry, she thought fiercely. She wanted nothing from him. Somehow she would manage to bring up her child alone.

Vadim crossed to the bar and poured himself a large vodka, uncaring that it was only eleven a.m. His hand shook as he lifted the glass to his lips, and he gulped the clear liquid down in one, feeling the alcohol warm the blood that had frozen in his veins. Ella had moved to stand by the window and sunlight danced over her hair, turning it into a river of gold that flowed down her back. She was so beautiful-but he could not bear to look at her, and he gripped the glass in his hand so tightly that it was in danger of shattering.

‘No wonder you were so desperate to leave France and go back to London,’ he bit out savagely. ‘I assume you weren’t going to tell me you are carrying my child.’

Startled by the accusation, Ella shook her head. ‘I had no idea I was pregnant,’ she defended herself.

‘How could you not have known?’ Vadim demanded blisteringly. ‘You must have known, and that’s why, out of the blue, you announced that you wanted to end our affair-because you didn’t want me to find out.’ He drew a ragged breath and fought to control the emotions that had been building inside him since the shocking revelation that Ella had conceived his baby.

‘Push me higher on the swing, Papa…’ Klara’s sweet voice echoed in his mind, and for a moment he saw her face with such crystal clarity that he felt he could almost reach out and touch her, hold her wriggling little body in his arms and tell her she was his princess. Grief pierced him like an arrow through the heart. Klara had gone, and he would never hear her laughter again. But now, amazingly, there would be another child-not a replacement for the child he had lost, but a precious gift he would treasure, a second chance at father-hood that he would not fail.

He stared at Ella, recalling the several occasions when she had stated that she did not plan to have children because she wanted to concentrate on her career, and a sickening suspicion crept into his mind. ‘Do you intend to go ahead with the pregnancy?’ he demanded coldly. ‘Or was the reason for your sudden decision to rush back to England so that you could have a termination?’ He ignored her shocked gasp and continued harshly, ‘You might not want this baby, but I do. I realise that nine months of pregnancy will interrupt your career, but I will compensate you financially, and from the moment the baby is born I will take charge of it. You will be able to have your life back.’

Ella opened her mouth, but her vocal cords had been strangled and no sound emerged. ‘You’re offering to…to buy the baby from me?’ she faltered at last, shock swiftly replaced by searing rage. ‘How dare you make the appalling suggestion that I would even think about ending my pregnancy?’ Her emotions were on a rollercoaster, and her anger died as quickly as it had come as hurt unfurled inside her. How could she ever have believed that she and Vadim were growing close when he could think that of her? It proved that he did not know her at all, she thought miserably.

But in truth his reaction to the news of her pregnancy had taken her by surprise. She had not expected him to want this baby. But she had seen the pain in his eyes when he had told her about the tragic loss of his daughter-she should have known that he would feel protective of the child she was carrying.

‘I might not have planned to have children, but I want this baby, and I will love it and be the best mother I possibly can,’ she said shakily. ‘If you want to be involved in our child’s upbringing, then I’m sure we can work out arrangements for shared access and…and visiting rights,’ she pushed on, her voice wavering slightly when Vadim’s brows drew together in a thunderous frown.

‘I have no intention of visiting my child,’ he grated. ‘I want to be a proper, hands-on father.’ The kind of father he should have been to Klara, instead of spending long hours at his office.

‘But…what will we do?’ Ella queried uncertainly, wondering if Vadim would demand that their baby should spend a few weeks, or even months, living with each of them in turn. An arrangement along those lines might enable her to continue with her career, she acknowledged. But she knew instantly that she would not be able to bear being parted from her child for even a day, and compared to being a mother her career was no longer the most important thing in her life.

‘I’m not sure how we’ll sort out the details,’ Vadim admitted. ‘All I know is that I am determined to take an active role in my child’s upbringing. Maybe we could continue with the arrangement to share Kingfisher House, so that the baby lives with both of us?’

Ella frowned, wondering if he meant that she and the baby would live in the caretaker flat, enabling him to see his child regularly while he maintained his bachelor lifestyle in the main part of the house. He had made it clear that he wanted his baby, but had made no mention of how he saw her future role in his life. He might bring other women back for the night, she thought, blanching at the idea of living next door to him, knowing that he was making love to a new mistress in the master bedroom where he had once made love to her.

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